Friday, December 24, 2010
休息
这一年,就结束了。
愿望呢?好多好多。
可是明年不打算出国玩了。有更重要的事情要解决。
那四天的假期,想好了吗?要去哪里?
只想做懒人。
休息,休息个够了,新的一年,新的第一天,新的第一个日期,要为工作打拼。
明年会很忙。明年也会更好。
休息够了,请继续加油。^^
Bruno Mars - Marry You
It's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go,
No one will know,
Come on girl.
Who cares if we're trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow,
Shots of patron,
And it's on girl.
Don't say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we'll go, go, go, go-go.
If you're ready, like I'm ready.
Cause it's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
I'll go get a ring let the choir bells sing like oooh,
So whatcha wanna do?
Let's just run girl.
If we wake up and you wanna break up that's cool.
No, I won't blame you;
It was fun girl.
Don't say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we'll go, go, go, go-go.
If you're ready, like I'm ready.
Cause it's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Just say I do,
Tell me right now baby,
Tell me right now baby. x2
Cause it's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
笑一笑吗?
疲惫时,记得笑一笑。
生气时,记得笑一笑。
委屈时,记得笑一笑。
记得,我曾经跟自己这么说过。因为有时,真的,微微一笑,心情可以有很大的转变。
可是,好累。现在真的好累。累到我忘了要怎么笑。真的笑了笑又忘了,开心就好。最近很开心的。可是有点,累。疲惫。脚站到痛。压力来了。睡不好。累了。
回家。一直想要回家。可能是真的累了。最近都很想回家。想休息个够。
真的累了。
对不起,如果我忘了对你笑。其实真的笑一笑,心情会比较好一点的。
笑一笑吗?怎么我都忘了。
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Stay The Night
It’s been a perfect day
We’re all spinning on our heels, so far away from real
In California
We watched the sunset from our car, we all took it in
And by the time that it was dark, you and me had something, yeah!
And if this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold
We’re shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The morning’s on it’s way, our friends all say goodbye
There’s nowhere else to go, I hope that you’ll stay the night
We’ve been singing Billie Jean
Mixin’ vodka with caffeine
We’ve got strangers stopping by
And though you’re out of tune
Girl you blow my mind, you do
And I’ll say I don’t wanna say good night
There’s no quiet corner to get to know each other
And there’s no hurry I’m a patient man
Is your discover
Cause if this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold
We’re shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The morning’s on it’s way, our friends all say goodbye
There’s nowhere else to go, I hope that you’ll stay the night
Just like the song on our radio set
We’ll share the shelter of my single bed
But it’s a different tune that’s stuck in my head
And it goes…
If this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold
We’re shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The morning’s on it’s way, our friends all say goodbye
There’s nowhere else to go, I hope that you’ll stay the night
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
今天天气好
晚上要去约会。晚上要花钱。晚上要聊天。晚上要一起吃晚餐。晚上要唱歌。哈哈哈。。。开演唱会啦。
姐姐那天叮咛我,晚上十点就要上床睡觉,要好好照顾自己,不让皮肤变差。我听话了。不知听话因为自己跟姐姐说好,还是因为自己就是那么爱美。总之是,我真的乖乖十点一到,我就准备上床睡觉了。
今天不能了。因为要出去玩。偶尔的出去这样玩是被允许的。没人点头,可是我自己允许我自己的。因为一年里面,这样玩应该只有四五次吧。很乖的,都没超过十次。所以你放心吧。唱完了就会回家了。
偶尔,就是要这样,好好宠爱自己一下。不管有没有钱。不管天会不会下雨或塌下来。我不怕天塌下来,我比较怕的是水灾,因为我不会游泳。我更怕,在水里时,不会游泳就算了,被水怪吃掉就惨了。所谓的水怪其实是指鳄鱼或水蛇啦。我只是比较喜欢用夸张的语气来讲话而已。哈哈哈。。。这样很好玩的。可以让对方哈哈大笑。我一直以来就是这样的。
十年后,可能我还是一样开朗吧。希望是。因为开朗的人不会让别人操心。我真的不喜欢让别人担心。
我常说的,开心就好。
今天天气好哦。
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
偶然
“不是因为寂寞才想你,是因为想你才寂寞。”
吃晚饭时,听到的。
有些人,真的,你不想,反而不寂寞。你一想,整个心就会跌进谷底。这种人,很危险。因为你并不能跟他说你很想他。
为什麽?
因为不能。因为他不会知道,因为他不想知道。因为他不在乎,因为他没有必要在乎。相信吗?你告诉他之后,只会觉得自己怎么那么好笑又可悲啊。
知道吗?所以我宁愿,没关系的痛。偶尔就是要这样才会长大。才会珍惜。你真的,要快乐就好。我可以祝福你。因为爱过的人,就是希望他过得很好,就好了。
Sunday, December 12, 2010
你好
终于。终于的终于。在昨天,在外面混了一段时间后,回家上网时,终于看到你的消息了。以为你真的不见了。原来你忙过头了。原来你生病了,你住院了。原来你不能上网。原来。
又生病了。发高烧,你说。住院住了两天。怎么回事?你就是很喜欢去医院是不是啊?以前常在医院因为你是医生,那是你做工的地方。现在辞职了,你还是常倒回去,因为生病了。感觉上就好像注定你一定要跟医院有关一样。哈哈。。
我们是聊天了没错。重新聊天。可是没当初一样热闹了。你忙你的,我忙我的。对,回来后,你就会比较忙了。这也不能怪,毕竟,时间一样时,我要睡觉时,你也是准备要睡觉了。
真的,越近的距离,感觉却更遥远。
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
笨蛋
那个笨蛋,这个笨蛋。我想忘掉。所以老天爷请疼我多一点,让我真的忘掉吧。
下次你看到我,请不要过来打招呼。因为已经太迟了。
你这个笨蛋。我这个笨蛋。
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
^O^

呵呵呵呵。。。。
嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻。。。。
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。。。
日子还是一样要继续过下去。不管你还记不记得我了。不管你还会不会想我。不管你是否讨厌我了。
日子,还是要过下去。
我很难过可是我不能就这样难过一辈子。
我告诉我自己,日子再坏再苦,在你走了之后,我还是要继续过下去。以笑声和快乐。
请记得,若有人问你今生有多少个人爱过你,别忘了算我这一份。你这个可恶的有钱人。哈哈哈哈。。。。
Monday, December 6, 2010
慢慢谈掉
这一次,我要找谁。要问谁。我不知道。那个世界我不熟悉。我要问谁,谁会答我?
是不是我自己活该。那天应该回应你的。那五天里面。我赌气的那五天里面。或许,若我留言的话,至少,若我留言的话,或许,就不一样了。会不会不一样了。
知道吗?我很喜欢圣诞节。虽然并没有怎样去庆祝。只是圣诞树拿出来摆,然后做个蛋糕。跟妈妈去教堂。跟妈妈看电视。每一年都是这样。可是自从做工以后,我都没有回家。妈妈开始时很失望。我想现在也是。虽然她没说什麽。可是她想说的都清清楚楚地写在脸上了。她很寂寞。我很过分。每次一到了圣诞节,我就会讨厌为什麽我会在这里工作。若在别的地方或许就不一样了。这是我唯一很想离开的原因。妈妈。只有在这个时候,我会特别希望自己不是在这里做工。在这书店里。
我喜欢圣诞节的。我甚至很希望自己是在西方国家出身的。这样一来,可是过着下雪的圣诞节。我很想看下雪的圣诞节。不知道为什麽。我觉得那一定很漂亮。我很喜欢看满街都是圣诞树的情景。很漂亮。心很安。我不是很忠实的天主教徒。我没有准时去教堂。可是我很喜欢教堂。我很喜欢听教堂里的钟响起来。我喜欢,因为心会很平静。这里的圣诞节不美。可是圣诞节的来临我依然很期待很开心。
只是现在不一样了。因为要工作。我不喜欢书店,这间我做工的地方。因为我在这里过了两年的圣诞节。明年也是这样吗?该死的。
一个礼拜过去了。没有消息。跟去年一样。我的圣诞节。心情乱透了。
我不想因为时间的关系,你慢慢淡掉。我不要你消失。我知道会记得你。可是这些都还是会,谈掉。你懂吗?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
不告而别
书里常带着一些歌。听着音乐写故事的女生。今年三十岁了。她写了三十四本书了。是习惯还是喜欢。我想两者都有。我已经习惯她写故事的方式和习惯。也喜欢她的文字和表达能力。我走进她的世界。我看到我也感受到。
有些话,我没办法说。结果她说了。在她的故事里面。那个主角的心情和我一样。虽然故事不一样。虽然结局不一样。我不擅长于表达。尤其是关于自己的心情或感情时。
我都不说。我也没说。不管多爱对方,多在乎对方。
“说你爱我有那么难吗?” 以前有一个人那么说。这个人变成了我的朋友。他说谢谢我还把他当朋友。
我知道你不爱我,说了出来有什麽用呢?
自尊心很好强的女生。很固执的女生。很自我的女生。很自信的女生。很傲慢的女生。
却
很脆弱的女生。
只是我不知道你去哪里了。这一点我真的很难过。
我真的很讨厌,不告而别。
“可不可以有一次,哪怕只是一次也好,不要只是寂寞才找我,而,是为了想见我。”
如果,你我之间,只剩下一分钟的最后,那么,我想要的,真只是一个拥抱而已。
爱情,不是走了,
却是,
曾经来过。
你曾经来过。虽然你,现在,不见了。
我讨厌你的不告而别。让我想哭却哭不出来。因为太难过了。因为赌气。因为失望。因为不愿服输。奇怪真的很奇怪,我就是觉得若我真的哭了,那就是我输了。然后,又来了,我会跟自己说,我不想,也不能输。
我不知道。可是我觉得你在看。你在看我的文字。
我觉得你真的在看。虽然你没有消息。你也不告诉我你好不好。你不要让我知道你好不好。
该死的,到底好不好。
我会去台湾的。懂吗?
我会再去的。
Saturday, December 4, 2010
消失的城堡
其实后面还有一句的。那就是,之后被谁捡到?知道的人,就会知道这是蔡依林的歌。我本身不是很喜欢她的。可是也不至于到讨厌到完全反感然后觉得要呕吐什麽的。所以她的歌我还是有听。而这首歌,是很久很久以前的,消失的城堡。当时的我几岁?十五?不太记得了。只知道当初是在念中学。
不过话说回来。我的记忆倒是没有真的飞走了。我也不希望它真的飞走了。因为有些人,有个人,我并不想忘记。虽然他消失了。又很突然的消失了。想想看,若记忆真的飞走了,我又会希望到底是被谁捡到呢?我希望是被他捡到。这样他就会明白,原来他在我心里有一个位置。很特别的位置。
熟悉的陌生人吗?这个是萧亚轩的歌。因为三姐的关系,我很喜欢萧亚轩。她有双小小的眼睛,可是她的眼睛好美好会放电啊。又很突然的,这首歌漂到我的脑海里。想必,以后,我们就是这样的关系。若我们见面的话。虽然我并没有把握,到底有没有那天真的会来临。可是我希望有。也真的希望会。
翻一翻过去。真的都是。。。唉。简直是不敢相信又不可思议。我们既然能聊到。好多好多。现在忽然停了,不知道的人以为我们吵架呢。可是就是没办法。找不到了。该怎么办我也不知道了。我还在想是不是我说错了什麽。或是做错了什麽。或是,真的该停了。而你也发现了。可是又是为什麽要停呢?
为什麽要停呢?
为什麽要停?
为什麽要?
为什麽?
停?
我那天突然停了,因为吃醋。因为真的觉得我在打扰。因为真的觉得很难过。因为真的呼吸困难。所以想躲起来冷静一下。离开一下看看自己会不会好一点。结果该死的。难受的要命。想到要疯掉却还是不知道怎么办。
而你呢?为什麽要停?
为什麽不见了呢?
为什麽消失无踪没消息呢?
为什麽?
我不懂。也没问。不是没问。而是不知道怎么问。所以我不停的读书,看电视,读书再看电视。为的是不可以有闲空的时间去想你。我不是不想想你。而是这样会呼吸困难。所以我不能那样。我让自己很忙。没事找事做。我不能停。然后我读了一本又一本的书。
然后看到:“因为能当朋友是种珍贵,能够相爱是种珍贵,在这世界上几百亿的人当中,我们遇见彼此,我们变成朋友,然后我们心动,我们勇敢,我们相爱,就算最后又变回朋友,我会希望对方是比我还幸福的人,因为我们拥有过两次珍贵的机会。”
对,我也希望,对方比我还要幸福。
请你,一定要比我幸福。
Friday, December 3, 2010
我看到。请你也看到。
既在乎曾经拥有,也在乎天长地久。
宁愿高傲单身,也不委屈自己。
别等不该等的人,别伤不该伤的心。
有时,爱也是种伤害。
残忍的人,选择伤害别人。
善良的人,选择伤害自己。
暗恋是最好的哑剧,说出来可能会变成悲剧。
哭,并不代表我屈服;
退一步,并不象征我认输;
放手,并不代表我放弃;
正如我微笑,并不意味着我快乐。
只有放弃,没有忘记。
看的淡一点,伤的就会少一点,时间过了,爱情淡了,也就散了。
时间,让深的东西越来越深,让浅的东西越来越浅。
佛说缘是一块冰,要度五百年。
佛问苦吗?我说不苦。佛于是许我一段缘。得之我幸,不得我命。如此而已。
前世的500次回眸才换来今生的一次擦肩而过。
我宁愿用来世的一次擦肩而过来换得今生的500次回眸。
我笑,全世界都跟着我笑;我哭,全世界只有我一个人哭。
孤独 ,不一定不快乐;
得到,不一定能长久。
失去,不一定不再拥有,
可能因为某个理由而 伤心 难过。
但,却能找个理由让自己快乐。
爱上一个人的时候,总会有点害怕,怕得到他,怕失去他。
不用 等待 的人,是 幸福 的。
我们真的要过了很久很久,能够明白,自己真正怀念的,到底是怎样的人,怎样的事。
什么事情都会 习惯 的,譬如别离和 思念。
爱与被爱,不一定成正比。
在对的时间,遇见对的人,是一种幸福。
在对的时间,遇见错的人,是一种 悲伤。
在错的时间,遇见对的人,是一声叹息。
在错的时间,遇见错的人,是一种 无奈。
不要轻言放弃,否则对不起自己。
如果哪天,我为别人披上了嫁衣,
也许是因为年龄,也许是因为累了,
也许是因为真的想与那个人携手一生。
OneRepublic - All Fall Down
Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound, that's the sound on your windowpane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound, that's the sound, you're waiting for
If ever your wold starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me
(Yeah)
God love your soul and your aching bones
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below
Everyone's the same, our fingers to our toes
We just can't get it right, but we're on the road
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me
(Yeah)
Lost till you're found, swim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate, strong till you break
Know that we all fall down
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me
Lost till you're found, swim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate, strong till you break
Know that we all fall down
All fall down, all fall down
All fall down, all fall down
All fall down, all fall down
书面里的非主流
非主流的字。我读到一个很喜欢的。可能是跟自己想的一样。可能是他说了我想说也曾经对自己说过的话。他是这么说的:
1,是你的,永远都是你的;不是你的,不管你怎么挣,怎么抢,也都不会属于你;
2,并不是聊得来,就适合在一起;并不是适合,就能够在一起;并不是能够在一起,就会永远在一起;也并不是永远在一起了就会幸福。
3,走的最急的是最美的风景;伤的最深的是最真的感情。
4,当身边的朋友说你是疯子的时候,成功离你不远了。
5,在事实面前,你的想象力越发达,后果就越不堪设想。
6,地球是运动的,一个人不可能永远处在倒霉的位置。
7,你永远看不见我眼里的泪水,因为只有你不在的时候,我才会哭泣。
8,时间就象一张网,你撒在哪里,收获就在哪里。
9,理想和现实总是有差距的,幸好有差距,不然,谁还稀罕理想。
10,人生的两大悲剧莫过于:得不到想要东西和得到不想要的东西。
11,成熟不是心变老,而是,当眼泪在眼睛里打转时却还保持微笑。
12,女人要常常告诫自己:“不要在一颗树上吊死”,否则,你将会狠惨。
13,爱情就像手里的沙子,攥的越紧,流的越快。
14,低头要有勇气,抬头要有底气。
15,人生就像一杯茶,苦…也只会是一阵子,不会苦一辈子。
16,傻与不傻,要看你会不会装傻。
17,女人用友情拒绝爱情,男人用友情换取爱情。
18,你以为最酸的感觉莫过于吃醋,不是的,最酸的感觉是你无权吃醋。
19,真正的朋友是什么?真正的的朋友是把你看透了,还喜欢你、愿意和你成为朋友的人。
20,当我们搬开了别人的绊脚石时,也许恰恰是在为自己铺路。
21,如果无法忘记他,就不要忘记好了,真正的忘记是不需要努力的。
22,再丑的人也能结婚,再美的人也会单身。
23,因为爱过,所以慈悲;因为懂得,所以宽恕。
24,某些人的爱情,只是一种“当时的情绪”,如果对方错将这份情绪当做长远的爱情,是本身的幼稚。
25,男人哭了,是因为他真的爱了;女人哭了,是因为她真的放弃了。
26,能够说出的委屈,便不是委屈;能够抢走的爱人,便不是爱人。
27,当一个女子在看天空的时候,她并不是想寻找什么,她只是寂寞。
28,无论怎样,一个人借故堕落,总是不值得原谅的,越是没人爱,越要爱自己。
29,对不起是一种真诚,没关系是一种风度;如果你付出了真诚,却得不到风度,那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗。
30,人们日常所犯的最大的错误,是对陌生人太客气,而对最亲密的人太苛刻,把这个坏习惯改过来,天下太平。
而我,最喜欢的,是被我涂上紫色的那几句。我不需要别人来告诉我应该怎么走下去。因为我知道自己想去哪里。我不需要别人来告诉我接下来应该走去哪里。因为我的故事我自己写。可是我需要你们来提醒我。快要疯的时候,我还是可以往后退一阵子。我需要你们来提醒我,累的时候可以停下脚步休息一会。我需要你们的提醒。不然我就不是人了。 因为人,不能自己一个人活下去。有爱,才可以继续活下去。不一定要是爱人,可以是朋友,可以是姐妹,可以是兄弟,可以是父母,可以是同事,可以是亲人。
就如张小娴说过的,我爱过,所以我活过。
你们好,我爱你的。
Thursday, December 2, 2010
再见
昨天你接受了。今天你出现了。我在想这是不是你看到我的书面所以才想起我,所以今天才来这里的。可是后来我又觉得其实并没有。应该是我想太多了。当初会写部落格,就是因为你这个小鬼啊。
嗨,我们又见面了。你还是一样,只有你可以问问题。而我的问题,你一直都是要答就答,不要就算。我的上司跟我说,可惜你有女朋友了,不然我可以追你。我说你比我小,我才不要。没错,就算你没有女朋友,我想我也不会喜欢你。你有人人都爱欣赏的脸孔面貌。不看你我可是瞎子。可是这并不代表我应该爱上你或跟你在一起什麽的。
我们最适合的关系我很清楚。那就是微笑招手。像最初那最天真的最纯洁的初恋一样。你每次都很开心的招手,而我每一次都是用最甜美的微笑来回应你。这样就够了。我们不能谈恋爱。我们不用谈恋爱。我们没必要谈恋爱。
请看,有谁知道你只有十九岁啊。
Five Minutes
写错字吗?哈哈。。你也常写错字。然后我们会笑个不停。不是故意的。不管是我笑,还是你写错,这都不是故意的。真的又不知不觉让我想起你。
为什麽明明那么近却感觉那么远。为什麽当初那么远时,却感觉你就在身旁?
又是,疑问。没答案。我真的觉得自己很像笨蛋。
如果生命也真的只剩五分钟。那你会怎么做?
我想我会打电话给妈妈跟她说我爱她吧。
至于你,我或许要找也找不到。
而你,应该是会在我的身边吧。
很可惜。我想我会这么说。
五分钟吗?其实都够了。因为有句话,我每天都说。虽然是在心里说。
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
我不说
接下来的,顺其自然。
我要做的,我都做了。该做的都做了。
被喜欢的人也有被告知的权力啊。
突然的,这句话漂进我的脑海里。我遇到他了。那个小鬼。他还是一样长的很成熟很。。。混蛋。哈哈。。。
我不是很快乐。可是有机会给我大笑,我就放声大笑个够。所以没有人知道我的心情低落。我不喜欢你们担心。所以别担心,我真的没事。工作时就用功用心专心。绝对不会让你看到我其实很累。我其实想哭。我其实想逃。
我从来都不让你们担心。那个老师说过,我很孝顺,从不让老人家担心,我想这句话真的说得很对很准确。当然没必要到处跟别人说我很孝顺哦,我很爱我妈妈哦。没必要。妈妈她很清楚我是什麽样的人,就够了。别让她担心,就够了。
请你开心点。我不知道你在想什麽。可是我很难受。我很想你的。
真是混帐。
December
Is the first day of the month again. Is Christmas Season, my dear. How are you gonna celebrate it? It had been a while, I followed mum to the church. I usually love to hear the bell ring, and I still do.
What are you gonna do this month? Thinking about going somewhere. To rest. Peace. & silent.
Thinking about go to sing out loud with bestie. Thinking about escaping from work and go home straight away, to watch TV with mum.
Is the first day of the month again. Did you clean yourself up? What had you cleaned? Memories? Nope. I never will do that. Memories is precious and priceless. I still remember you. Do you? How often you come and visit me? I guess you miss me, don't you?
Is the first day of the month again. Loads of works is waiting. Reports. Reports. Am going to sit in front of the PC again, for the whole day. Until somebody comes and save me. But usually nobody will. Ha~!
Am not afraid. Will it be pain or not? Never try and even if I did, I know how to cure myself. Am not a doctor, don't misunderstand. I just, know. When will the pain gone and cure.
Is December.
After 31 days, this month will end. This year will end.
What is your wish?
I want to meet you.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
心情
“也许遇见你是个错
错在我们身处不同的时空
两颗心交会的时候
一分钟就足够
够我一辈子想念很久
我会选择离开微笑告别伤害。。。”我不是在抄歌词。只是,真的很适合形容
我现在的心情。谢谢你说很期待听到我的消息。
谢谢在最后一次的时候,还是没忘了要买礼物给我。我依然记得你问我要什麽。我更是记得你问我想到了吗,
想要些什麽礼物。为什麽会想买礼物给我呢?
那是我始终都没有问出口的问题。而且,那也是我到现在
也还没想到答案的问题。我更是还没想到,我到底要些什麽。或希望收到些什麽。又为什麽想送我礼物呢?难道你真的觉得我们会见面?我始终还是没问。有些话,有些问题,
我真的,没办法开口。别问我为什麽。我也
很伤脑筋。虽然我已经有答案了。真的,
有些世界,我真的到不了。女生都很脆弱吗?其实也不。可是我很脆弱,这我知道。真的知道。我很胆小。我很怕受伤。我很怕跌到。我很怕输。
我,很没安全感。记得吗?我跟你说过,太远
又没见过面认识的人,我是
不会跟他交往的。因为没有安全感。我想你记得。你说你会记得我的。
我相信你。因为我也记得你。没办法忘记的,又何苦拼命的让自己忘记。我喜欢记得你。因为喜欢你。
因为我没办法说。因为有些事,我不方便说。可我又不想失去你。但也不想伤害你。所以我离开。 知道现在是什麽歌在不断的重复吗?
是到不了。它是这样唱的: “ 你眼睛会笑
弯成一条桥
终点却是我 永远到不了
感觉你来到 是风的呼啸
思念像苦药 竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到 我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什麽都不要 知不知道
若你懂我 这一秒
我想看到 我在寻找
那所谓的 爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠 紧谨守牢
不敢漏掉
一丝一毫 愿你看到” 不是故意的。可是我很难过。我真的很难过。我的眼泪不能流。我真的,你懂吗?那呼吸困难的感觉?你很漂亮。真的,是我见过最漂亮的男生。我们一起笑到疯。我很想念。骂我吧。骂我这个自私鬼。你应该会说,你不会骂我的。因为你不喜欢吵架。我不会在你面前哭。我觉得那样只会害
你更讨厌我。因为我也,说谎了。 吞,一千根针吗?会痛。没办法。那就是惩罚。 He said :"It's never too late."
你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。你是笨蛋。
你是笨蛋。黄。秀。玲。你是笨蛋。
黄秀玲。你是个笨蛋。
当他说一切都不会太迟,只要努力你就可以得到你想要的东西时。只要努力,就会幸福。只要。努力。吗?
那天睡不着是怎么回事。想着他是什麽意思。
你这个笨蛋。
想了又放手。
你。这个。笨蛋。
Monday, November 29, 2010
Turn it OFF.
And honestly, I really don't like to see her comments. But I still see it. And it makes me sick.
This month is going to be tough for me. I cried last night. But nobody knows. Which is good.
I turn it off. I run away. Break away.
Sorry. This is really hard.
You won't understand.
Of course you won't. As I don't even tell.
Am really sorry...
Bye. NW.
Friday, November 26, 2010
珍惜你的微笑
所以不計較 只要彼此可以過得更好
當初愛的是你 當我哭時也是你
在我的身邊 讓我嘗到有被愛的感覺
謝謝你的美好 我絕對不會忘掉
雖然那滋味 慢慢地 慢慢地 淡掉。。。”
我們的全部 所有的全部 只要再一步
就能夠解脫 就能夠擁有 得到自由。。。
You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life..............
笑吧。世界是如此的美好。
我们的相遇,不管有没有正式见面,都是那么的珍贵。
Make it Happen In your Life
-Donald Trump.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
想问你
其实只要传个简讯,就可以知道答案的。可是我没有这么做。我不习惯跟你玩信息。我比较喜欢,面对面跟你聊天。不知道,可能是这样才可以安慰你。在你并不想说出口时,从你的动作,表情,我都可以看出来,所以不会追问,让你想说就说,不说就别说。我从来都没逼你,也没阻止你,记得吗?我只给意见。我都给你选择。不管你做什麽。不管你说什麽。我都没有阻止你。还跟你说,我一定会支持你的。
你好像很累。你好像很烦。在这里的话,随时都会掉泪,对吧?在我面前你真的很会哭耶。而我,好像也习惯了。从来都没有觉得你丑。没觉得你哭的时候很丑。毕竟有些人一哭就会变脸,早上都可以吓死人的那种。可是你不会。你一样很漂亮。我说过吗?没有。在你哭时突然说这个,会很奇怪吧?我一直都让你哭。我觉得女生本来就是要哭才是女生。当然并不可以动不动就哭,这样很欠扁的。我静静的让你哭,哭过就算。我也常对你说,开心就好啊。对啊,什麽事烦你时,随便做些笨蛋或欠扁的事情吧,不用去理会别人怎么说。开心就好啊。
很压力吧?也很寂寞吗?我觉的你很难过。说不上哪里。就是有那个感觉。就像当初他住院准备要动手术的时候一样。我突然就是有这种感觉。我觉得他很难过,结果真的是。现在,是你。是很纳闷。很静。静。静。静。
我每次跟你说,别想太多。人要往好方面想。你应该还记得吧。我突然想吃冰淇淋。心情不好时,吃冰淇淋真的会很开心耶。我想你也是。你回来时,我们一起去吃冰吧。开心就好。到时想吃什麽就吃什麽。有什麽事,我们见面时说个够吧。不知道为什麽,我觉得你好像要离开,去很远的国家耶。是我多心吗?真的是那样的话,以后我们多久才可以见面一次啊。
我会很想你的。
欣,晚安啦。
不会太迟
不知为什麽却很在意。
是什麽时候开始的,我的脑袋瓜老是想了那么多的蠢蛋事物?
你说只要努力就不会太迟。我对你,应该努力些什麽?
顺其自然吧。这样比较适合我。这是我的风格。
不然,会呼吸困难的。
心闷。唱歌吧。
看到了的话,请装着不知道吧。这样,你会吗?不瞒你,我最厉害了。
离开
我看到了。不该看的东西。每次看到类似的东西,我就会选择离开。不是故意的。是胆小吗?或许是,毕竟,我并不喜欢拆散别人。虽然你们只是很要好的朋友。可是我一样会难过。因为你们见过面。因为你们从以前就很要好。
我离开了。我想,我会暂时的不去打扰吧。或许,暂时离开,才可以没那么难过。没有人知道你到底需不需要我。我也没问过。有些话真的不应该说。记得吗?我说过,时机不对的话,有些话真的还是不要说比较好。所以,我的话,又卡住了。
我们本来就来自不一样的世界。我从来没想过要走进你的世界。若真的走进你的世界。我想我知道会发生什麽事。相信吗,我有种能知道接下来会发生什麽事的能力。我知道,将来会发生什麽事。若你走进我的世界的话,而我也让你进来的话。
可是你知道吗?这都不简单。可以说我胆小没错。我很难接受别人的意见没错。我很固执没错。可是我更不喜欢看到你的背影。我,害怕。我,最怕的,就是看到我喜欢的人,背对着我,离开的背影。所以,再怎么痛,选择离开的,永远是我。
不简单。我从来都不会告白。尤其是在自己最喜欢的人面前。要过了多久,那句话才可以说出来,我也不晓得。我并不潇洒。我是胆小。你知道吗?我是又胆小,又脆弱的人。拼命自己爬起来是因为不喜欢别人看到自己的脆弱。什麽情况下都不可以认输,也是因为不喜欢被人说成是弱者。我天生就不喜欢麻烦人家的。虽然很多人都是志愿帮我的。
有些话真的不能说。我不要说。就算知道说出来后,或许可以把你留住。我们的世界很不一样。我会喘不过气来。
我会离开一阵子。若你会找我的话。真的来找我的话。
到时再决定吧。
你跟她,加油吧。
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
回家
回家是件很快乐的事哦。一个人工作累了。在外面跑久了。一个人在外面待久了。最想做的,就是回家。
我发现到,原来我很喜欢回家。不管是一个人住的那个小房间(我在外面的家),还是有妈妈等着的家。很简单的快乐,回家。什麽都不用再烦的回家。对我来说,回家就是要休息。什麽都别想,好好的休息。不管是在外面工作,或是去上课,或是出国旅行。累了,我们都想,回家。
不要太烦恼。回家的时候,别把外面的事都带回家。家很温馨的,别让你的烦恼来捣乱了。温暖的家,不是需要什麽很豪华的家具,而是能让你心好好静一静的地方。我不是有钱人,可是我是最富有的人。因为我有妈妈等我,回家可以看到妈妈是我最开心的事。别说我不想她。最难得的假日,除了想回家跟妈妈聊天,我还能要求什麽。
我很想回家。我很期待回家。虽然星期日很快就到了,可是我真的好想好想,现在就回家。我想你啊。。。妈妈。
听说他也要回家了。他也很想念他的爸爸妈妈吧。
It wasn't That bad after All.
When you looks like a nut. Ugly and hilarious. I posted an new album on my facebook yesterday. Happened to tag my friends on it(Which they aren't actually in it).
I was laughing hard at myself. Who wasn't look like myself at all. I guess that's how the way I really look like, in fact. Hilarious & ridiculous. That is the name of the album. I do not, purposely make that stupid face out. I do not, as the coffee really...yiake....bitter. I like the smell of coffee, and the taste(I mean some of it, not all). But when it comes to mind that your teeth will turn dark and caffeine really harm your body, I don't, take coffee.
Guess what? Surprisingly, they were happy and laughing together. It really doesn't matter, after all, how you looks like. You still could make people happy and laugh. That is a good news. And I wondered, where's the hell did I had that guts to upload those pictures. Come to think of it, maybe is due to I just can't help myself. I laughed out loud, remember? That is the reason. I want you to be happy too. No matter who you are and what you have in your mind when you first look at the picture.
It really, wasn't that bad after all.
Am I ugly? Nope. I'm pretty enough to be true. ^o^
Friday, November 19, 2010
猫。
我们的想法一样。做过一样的事情。虽然并不是所有的都一样。怎么可能所有的都会一样?毕竟是两个人不同的人。是一小部分罢了。应该这么说才对。
好笑的是,我不是那么喜欢猴子,虽然说不上是讨厌。可是假的猴子都很可爱的。对话不管对到哪里,都会不经意提到动物。可能是没话题聊了吧。纯粹是无聊的两个人。在不同的世界,在不同的国家里。两个无聊的人。
可是却没停过。虽然话题都快结束了,可是就是没停过。感谢上帝,我们是在聊那么无聊的话题,可是我们却没停过。为了什麽,我其实也不知道。可能对你而言,我已经是一个,你的朋友了吧。所以你跟他们提起了我。你也跟你奶奶提起了我。而我呢,误会你走了的那天,跟妈妈提过你。哈哈哈哈哈。。。。。不好意思,不是故意的。
这次是猫。我们提起了猫。你让我想念小时候常养的猫。我都不养女的,我喜欢男的。就像现在做工了,喜欢聘请男员工比较多,觉得女生很弱,很多心情,很罗嗦。我一个人罗嗦就够了,剩的人请安静点。不然太吵我会压力,我会头痛。我喜欢安静的,别忘了,我是不会因为别人而改了这一点的。
突然提起猫,是因为她有养猫,而她去上课时,是你来照顾。然后提起了卡通猫。那个可爱又高贵的猫。小白猫,会唱歌的猫。有着粉红色的蝴蝶结的小白猫。谢谢你让我想起,当时跟姐姐边看边哈哈大笑的那时刻。因为猫咪太调皮也太可爱了。那时候,我们都很开心。那是今年的九月。我才想起原来那是我第一次看这部卡通电影。是在车里看的。
没变的是,我依然很喜欢猫。我依然很喜欢看卡通。谁说大人不可以看的?谁说二十二岁就是大人了?无聊。
If I knew then
Looking like you did,
We were young
We were restless
Just two clueless kids,
But if I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
You're on a bus in chicago
Three rows to the left
You know my heart
Is reaching for you
But we never even met
If I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
'cause love only comes
Once in a while
And knocks on your door
And throws you a smile
And takes every breath,
Leaves every scar,
Speaks through your soul
And sings to your heart
But if I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
On a summer night
In august
Backseat of my car
Said I'm trying to get
To know you,
I took it way to far
But if I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
'cause love only comes
Once in a while
And knocks on your door
And throws you a smile
And takes every breath,
Leaves every scar,
Speaks through your soul
And sings to your heart
But if I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
I used up
A lot of chances
But you give them back
But if again
It comes crawling
I'm gonna make it last..
Thursday, November 18, 2010
猫爱上幸福,鱼怎会知道
突然想到一些以前的事。
什麽事让你想到发呆?
忘了,想完就忘了。”
“是你不要的,为什麽还要回头找?
我们只是因为当时都太年轻了。
但是太晚了,太晚了。
我真的不想再放弃一次。”
结果经典手机,我查看着一封又一封的讯息,看着已经陌生了的号码却曾经熟悉过的口吻,我觉得眼睛好像有点湿。
而最后的一封讯息停留在去年我的生日。
我不知道你还会不会收到。
我希望不会。
这样比较好。
比较对。
第一次,我感觉到自己的存在是种多余。
我觉得很不是滋味。
那么打电话吧!偶尔的任性应该是被允许的。
电话。听筒。放弃。
抽屉。最底层。遗忘已久的手机。开机。讯息。
为什麽?
突然的,我想起过去,似曾相识的情景。
[两个人一定要每天粘在一起吗?你能不能有点自己的生活?]
电话被摔断,我可以想象在那端的你正气的哭泣,我们都觉得爱得很累,我们都正在体验并且实践的那句老掉牙的的话:相爱容易相处难。
我们都年轻。
我的城市你的城市 都在雨季
在远方 夜雨中 谁让你思念
每个人心中对未来都有不同的期待
我想你曾有的心情我明白
【不要放弃的那么早。】
是从什麽时候开始,在别人眼中,我竟变成了你的模样。
然后我做了一个决定。
我决定和自己去旅行。
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
时间
我说。在书面里说的。并不是亲口对你说的。
以前我不喜欢上网的。因为觉得很无聊。可是,直从生活上多了那个你以后。
以前我喜欢在部落格上写写心情比较多。如今,忙了。慢了。我,的时间,用来陪你聊天。虽然,我并不知道你现在那里是几点。是什麽天气。
知道吗?这样,并不简单啊。
爱。遇见。
我梦见了 两个人的荒岛 你要不要
明天的诺言交给明天去实现 这爱的试验哪怕痛苦多过甜
我独自经过的 最后的脆弱
当初是怎么消灭解脱
来不及痛 一闪而过的自然放手 谁的最后将会属于我可否跳过 暧昧 迂回 捉弄
我不追求 爱要直接 我接受
谁能爱了就爱 直接的爱
瞬间彼此明白 分不开
过去都被覆盖 替我找回来
再不要多壮烈的等待
一跃入 就直接在未来
看一眼 再想一遍 我失去的画面
如今变成那一个人替代我幸福的脸
阳光太过刺眼 幸福走得好远
偶尔打开过去翻几页 甜蜜还剩一点我学着坚强去面对 不让伤悲太过绝对 看着生命最美好的一年 回忆留给昨天 我可以坚强去面对 那些我曾经不必会 留不住或许还剩一张照片 慢慢去纪念
这段时间我们改变了什么 为何从来不觉得你离开过 原来我的爱还没坠落
已错过的永远美丽而执着 总算我们也狠狠爱过
如果当时有什么还没有说 其实我也早已明白了所有
就算没有一起到最后
纸飞机 带着我们共同作的梦 乘着白云飞到永恒那个山峰。。。。
命运或注定 让我遇见你 LOVE~ 不过是种默契
同步呼吸 听说有种幸运 不管天雨天晴 空气布满星星
就情不自禁 就鼓起勇气 LOVE~ 说出我爱你
Monday, November 15, 2010
What's in your bank account?
Then this....is something I wish to share. Read it, my dear. No matter who you are.
Thought you would enjoy this - so true – what you make of life.
YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
A 92-year-old, petite, well poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied..
' Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time . Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing.' Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
心跳
它告诉你,当时的你很紧张。
它告诉你,当时的你很兴奋。
它告诉你,当时的你很害怕。
那是,心跳加速的时候。
当时,是很紧张,看到那张照片时。所以心跳加速。后来,是很兴奋,觉得怎么可能,我既然跟你这种人天天在聊天。结果,是很害怕,因为我还是没办法,接受,有钱人。
可惜吧。。。
我说,真可惜。因为,我陪了你那么久,我们还是朋友。我们是朋友。
今天她说,或许他在等你给他暗示啊。而我反而在想,我才是那个在等着对方给提示的人呢。
应该吗?由我来主动给暗示?不行。不好吧。我们根本。。只不过是这样罢了。
你的心跳,说了什麽吗?
我的说,在他面前,你的脸一定会红透了。在他面前,吃饭的话你的手一定会拿不稳汤匙的,因为你会发抖。在他面前,出丑了别害羞,因为那才是真实的你。在他面前,记得要让他继续笑个够。在他面前,要让他记得你的好。在他面前,没办法忍了的话,就说出来吧。
心跳,感应?
e-Lover
想着我们不曾碰面
望着你的照片
你问我台北好吗?
两个城市雨绵绵
深夜
收到你的生日卡片
问侯里夹藏许多
浅浅的思念
就是不见真实的爱恋
等你说
(Yes)I love you
互动的心再远也能感应
指尖一遍一遍说着想爱的心
虽然害怕一样相信
宁原用时间让你证明
爱我请你试着疯狂一些
不听不管不问就算是种危险
不再害怕裹足不前
爱个人就该相信直觉
请相信直觉 .......”
下班的时候,下雨了。
突然,这首歌飘到了脑海了。以前听这首歌时,纯粹是喜欢,它能让你感到轻松,而不是寂寞的感觉。现在的心情。其实不是这样的。而是,真的,有个人,在等一个人。
看到吗?车里的那个女孩。每次坐在车里时,都不望驾车的那个人,而老是往窗外看。看着那又大又篮的天空。想着谁?另外一边的情人。很遥远的情人。还没见面的情人。为什麽看着天空。她在想,总有一天,她会飞过去找他的。而他,也会飞过来见她的。她相信,虽然不知道他怎么想。
可是,你跟我说,相信,就一定会见面的。突然的,你问我想要什麽。说真的,我到现在还是不知道,我要什麽。我不知道,从你那里,可以得到什麽很特别的东西。穷光蛋,能想到那么远去吗?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
你很漂亮
我的头脑是空白的。没什麽特别的想法,没什麽特别的感觉。
本来就是这样的。有些人,才来的时候,就会把你的世界吵得活生生的热闹。而有些人,刚到的时候,只是礼貌性的对你微笑。时间可以让你很珍惜一个人的来过。时间也可以,让你慢慢的,慢慢的,遗忘,原来他曾经让你笑的很开心。
你很漂亮。不是特地的对谁说。是看到了,今天,很多女生,其实,你真的很漂亮。不管我讨厌你,不管我喜欢你,还是,不管,我认不认识你。
我很胆小。也很自私。我的对不起,应该说给谁听。你?还是你?
我想说,你很漂亮,打从我们第一次认识的时候,就应该说了。可是可惜,我就是没说。真的,好听的话我很少说出来。为什麽?要闷在心里。教人时,我的道理多得你觉得我很厉害。可是转过身,我才是那个最需要被保护的人。
家福说我很脆弱。他说我很逞强。明明需要人家来扶,还死命自己站起来。他的话,一直就活在我的心里,毁灭不掉。
是习惯吗?我就是爱,自己还是要靠自己这样的过活。虽然到了最后,受了伤,伤痕累累的人,是我。我就是没办法求救。不要麻烦人家吗?小姐,你已经麻烦人家了。
有句话还是想说明白。你真的很漂亮。不管以后,我们会在什麽情况下见面。你就是,很漂亮。你,要幸福。
扞卫真爱
爱情的记号 要深烙
祈祷 不灭的火苗 无尽的浪涛
下一个拥抱 能到老
为了我的存在 你的存在
扞卫永恒的真爱 喝彩
不管再多艰难 再多阻碍
也要走的勇敢 灿烂
为了我的存在 你的存在
扞卫永恒的真爱 精彩
过了几个世代 几个审判
也要流传 我和你的浪漫
体会炙热的绝对 洁白的纯粹
爱情的焠炼 要永远
感觉 忘情的狂野 恣意的沉醉
爱情的光辉 要完美
为了我的存在 你的存在
扞卫永恒的真爱 喝彩
不管再多艰难 再多阻碍
也要走的勇敢 灿烂
为了我的存在 你的存在
扞卫永恒的真爱 精彩
过了几个世代 几个审判
也要流传 我和你的浪漫
Friday, October 29, 2010
倒数两天
这个月的惊喜。
这个月的吵闹。
这个月的快乐。
这个月的误会。
这个月的眼泪。
这个月的欢笑。
这个月的难题。
这个月的疲惫。
我很喜欢十月。因为十月这个字本来就是很好听。再来是十月,我出生。妈妈把我迎接到这个世界上。让我活了下来。让我看到世界的美好。
今年的十月很特别。因为某些因素,我讨厌十月。后来他说,我怎么会让你讨厌十月?然后他又出现了。是十月的惊喜。
我和你的感情依旧。有如结婚十年的夫妇。恩爱。老夫老妻。某些因素,我们吵闹。然后,你说,不要搬走好吗?然后,我们又重新开始。是十月的吵闹。
十月二号,是我的生日。你带我去看鳄鱼。就如当初你答应过的。我的书面充满了祝福。是以前的同学。有的是同事。姐姐们。开心的笑,虽然那天他开始要睡早了。然后他睡了不知是五天还是七天。然后醒来,找我道歉。是十月的快乐。
他动手术了。还没醒来的时候,另外一个朋友去世了。我以为是他,所以一段日子不再碰电脑。沮丧。然后奇迹发生。是十月的误会。
我吵,我闹。因为某些因素。你听。你静静的听。我哭。隔天带着可怕的大眼睛去上班。是十月的眼泪。
他的信息。你的玩笑。远方的祝福。远方的温暖。我笑。可爱的客人。可恨的可人。我笑。同事的爱,同事的笑声。我笑。姐妹的信息,我的等待。我笑。是十月的欢笑。
工作。感情。友情。加油,我说。是十月的难题。
工作。工作。赶不完的工作。是十月的疲惫。
倒数,剩两天。我会离开这十月了。二零一零年的十月。我二十二岁。有本事吗?要闯天下哦。加油!!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
黑夜過後
我不善言語 但願意陪你 讓你至少不孤單 渡過難眠的夜晚
不管夜多漫長 天終究會明亮
黑夜過後第一道陽光 是為了融化妳心中的霜
鬧過哭過當力氣全耗光 發現妳不過又愛了一場
黑夜過後另一個早上 是最後一次和他說晚安
你要相信你比想像勇敢 逃離夜的捆綁奔向日出的方向...."
爱不过是如此。痛了就算。爱了就算。谁说一定要天长地久。两个人一跟人,有什麽差别。我们一样各做各的。只是偶尔一起吃个饭。一起聊天。我们像家人一样。所以我会乖乖回家。我很想嫁给你的。因为你给过我最好的安全感。虽然不清楚,这个安全感到底是爱还是责任。听起来很可悲。我的爱情既然很幸福却也很可悲。
你依然接我回家。让我睡在你的身边。出门牵我的手。我什麽都没说也没拒绝。可能是习惯了。而你,也可能是习惯了,所以还会有这样的动作。是什麽杀了我们之间的感情。时间吗?时间让我看清你。时间让我爱你更久。怎么可以说时间杀了我们的感情呢?
还是我贪心。还是你贪心。你都没说。我说我离开后你一定要幸福。我想你会的。因为你并不是没人爱的。我都爱过你了。还爱你最久的。我一直相信,我一定会跟你到永远的。只是这个永远。已经到了。
看一看吧,那个你爱过的他。看着他,因为他爱过你。或许还爱着你也说不定。因为,他习惯不说。
Sunday, October 24, 2010
凌晨一点钟
我没有失眠哦。我只是,不想就这样睡着了。因为以后可能没机会了。所以要好好珍惜。趁他还那么有空陪我。趁他还那么有空需要我陪的时候。我不想失去。
一聊起来,就是一百多封的信息。无聊的话题。可是笑的很开心。这样的时间。我会上网。他会上网。是习惯吧。他也知道我什麽时候会找他吧?他也会期待吗?他也是在等吗?
我没问过。不知道怎么问。也从不谈暧昧的话题。可能是知道不应该。也可能觉得不适合。也可能,还不可以这么做。
不是故意的。对不起。因为时间不一样。因为国家不一样。因为地位不一样。因为身份不一样。因为年龄不一样。因为,我们还没正式见面。
时间到了。我知道什麽时候会收不到你的信息。我知道什麽时候你会停下来。我该睡觉了。
不完美的完美
人體內6公升血 一顆顆都如酒濃烈 為愛瘋狂 沒醉過的人不了解
哪怕偶爾得轉換起點 哪怕選手缺少優先權 沒得選
我將猶豫都甩開 將目光都鎖在 同一個終點
前方越多的風險 冒險 越容易領先
我要我是誰 就算夢未遂 也不讓現實這土匪 把理想都盜走 到老才數著後悔
感動是纖維 紡織後成為一張被 你將我包圍 你的愛沒白給 虽然我並不完美
我並不完美
心意堅定如鐵 故事我自己寫 你別看我 安靜但內心很狂野
我體內所有的血 一分鐘都不肯停歇 所謂瘋狂 是不管他人的誤解
哪怕偶爾得轉換起點 哪怕選手缺少優先權 沒得選
我將猶豫都甩開 將目光都鎖在 同一個終點
前方越多的風險 冒險 越容易領先
我要我是誰 就算夢未遂 也不讓現實這土匪 把理想都盜走 到老才數著後悔
感動是纖維 紡織後成為一張被 你將我包圍 你的愛沒白給 虽然我並不完美
雖然我不完美
I'll be somebody someday
因為我不完美 才會是獨特的誰”
复活了。我说。其实在新加坡的时候,其实有看到你的。当时因为你的名字不一样,所以觉得不是你。可是就差那么一个字,所以觉得应该是你没错。回来后,本来想直接找你的,可是因为很忙的关系,这几天才突然想到。就上网找了。找到了,那个差一个不一样的石康钧。脸我不记得了。觉得有点不同。头发的关系吧。可是有一点,我不会忘记。那就是,你的声音。我很拿手的,就是,听人的声音。记得,你们的声音。
是你没错。是以前的石康军,没错。我曾经说很可惜,你唱歌那么好听,为什麽不唱了。原来,你去念书了。现在才回来。欢迎你回来。我还是一样爱你的歌,你的音乐。虽然这次的专辑只有三首新歌。不过我都很喜欢。看一看你的新发型,发现很像一个人。很像那个人。当初我哭着唱你的歌,就是因为我要跟他告别了。 我为了我的好姐妹,要她知道我是真的很关心,所以唱了你的“黑夜之后”。结果,我们俩一起哭个不停。结果我们都很喜欢那首歌。
没有人是完美的。我从来都没有完美过。我觉得有时,要两个人,才可以完美起来的。虽然不知道另外一个会是谁。也没决定他应该要是谁。 可是一个人时,真的,没办法完美起来的。
就像,一个人吃饭,会吃得特别专心,因为没有人陪你聊天;会吃得不专心,因为会坐在电视前或者电脑前吃。也像,一个人看电影时,买来的爆米花吃不完,会不知道怎么办;买来的爆米花明明吃不完,还是不可以浪费所以死命吃。我习惯,两个人。两个人,才完美。
没男朋友,也要有朋友。不管是男是女,一定要有一个,可以跟你谈心的人,这样,你才会完美。因为人要说的话,不是给自己听的。人喜欢说话给别人听的。所以,人之所以完美,因为他们说的话,有人听哦。你喜欢你说的话没人听吗?怎么可能。你喜欢吗?这不完美的感觉?怎么可能。
我认识他不久。我们像好朋友一样。有问题发问 。有玩笑,开个够。我们无说不谈。唯独,对对方的感觉。没必要提到。是朋友。是习惯。不是爱。是关心。是分享。不是爱。感觉不到。因为很远。因为没见过面。我很怕没安全感的感情。我没有说很多。我喜欢现在这样。当他很闲空很无聊时,是我在陪他。当他还没正式回到岗位上时,是我在陪着他。以后他会很忙。当他身体好了之后。他会很忙,因为他是医生。或许会忙到没时间再这样聊天,可是我相信他会记得我。仔细想想,我们到底怎么开始的。真的很神奇的缘分。这一点,我不跟你们说。这是我的秘密。
不完美的完美吗? 感谢上帝我跟他是朋友。没爱上没关系。你要记得我就好了。
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
信徒
淡掉
我用想念来记得某个人。也用想念来慢慢忘掉。我放手很久了。没想到这次成功的很快。
我又重新把心放在工作上了。他走了。
也是,随着时间的流逝,我知道,你不可能变成我的唯一。可能是你慢了一步。可能是我快了一步。可能是你还想她。可能是我还想你,可是我只能这样想你。没有更好的方法了。
我发现到除了我,好像没有人跟你聊天。可能他们都是直接去找你,所以你不用上网跟他们聊天。其实也不重要。因为我们很远。或许在这里的话就不一样吧。你可能会来找我也说不定。就像他一样。
人是会变的。我之前说过的。我也变了。以前不喜欢的人,现在我却在听她的歌。而且还不停的重复。我跟你说,当你听到我的音乐再重复时,就是我的心情有问题的。结果你说,我听到了,你的音乐在重复。没错,当时的音乐真的是再重复。我问你怎么知道,你说你把耳朵装在我的电脑这里了。你问我怎么了。我说没事,只是特别喜欢这首歌,然后,想念某人咯。你问我是他吗。我说那个人已经走出我的世界了。我也说我想你比我想他还要多。
是真的。因为当时,我想的就是你。只是这一点,我不够坦白。
淡掉了。那个感觉。
Saturday, October 16, 2010
如果这就是爱情
你做了选择 对的错的 我只能承认 心是痛的 怀疑你舍得 我被伤的那么深 就放声哭了 何必再强忍 我没有选择 我不再完整 原来最后的吻 如此冰冷 你只能默认 我要被割舍 眼看着 你走了 如果这不是结局 如果我还爱你 如果我愿相信 你就是唯一 如果你听到这里 如果你依然放弃 那这就是爱情 我难以抗拒 如果这就是爱情 本来就不公平 你不需要讲理 我可以离去 如果我成全了你 如果我能祝福你 那不是我看清 是我证明 我爱你 灰色的天空 无法猜透 多余的眼泪 无法挽留 什么都牵动 感觉真的好脆弱 被呵护的人 原来不是我 我不要你走 我不想放手 却又不能够奢求 同情的温柔 你可以自由 我愿意承受 把昨天 留给我
**I love this Song very Much....
她吗?
这种人,到底是什麽人。我很好奇。
你最爱的人?还是你爱不到的人?
还会想她,对吗?真可惜。因为,我好像又走错路了。果然,有些话还是始终都没机会表达。说我是活该吧。痛了就算。死不了就还好啊。明天依然有人等着我,不是吗?其实没人等也没管系。妈妈爱我啊。爸爸虽然不在了,可是爸爸也是爱我的。只是爸爸不知道,他给我取了一个不好的名字。还好有大姑给的另外一个名字。
什麽人?很重要吗?还是,因为你得不到,所以不甘心。所以不甘心忘掉。真的爱她吗?我觉得很浪费时间。可是,我自己也是在浪费时间。真是蠢蛋。
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
复活
不过,要责怪自己是笨蛋。因为把活生生的人当成是死人后,自己却崩溃地哭了几天。怎么会笨到以为他真的已经走了呢?因为他很远。他的朋友没把话说清楚。然后更是那么的刚好,那么的巧合,他的朋友把另外一个朋友的照片放了出来。误会一场。我以为那个照片里面,睡着的是你。真的丢脸丢到家的大误会。
现在的音乐,是当时心情低落到谷底的时候不停重播的。可是现在的心情不一样了。复活。重生。新的开始(对你而言)。新的再会(对我而言)。原谅我的白痴。因为在网上写了很多对你的思念(因为以为你已经离开了),所以写的有点。。。过分吗?说什麽天国的。。。真的抱歉,因为我真的相信好人离开后会去天国哦。虽然你并没有真的去啦。。。。 所以,像你这样的好人,那个地方才是。。。。好啦。不讲啦。你又不是真的去了。嘻嘻嘻。。。。
谢谢你回来。谢谢你醒来。我说。而你,醒来的时候,收到的惊喜真的不少啊。一是,你奶奶既然一直陪在你的身边。二来,我的信息填满了你的书面。三是,你的一个朋友离开了。四是,你依然期待她会来问候还有关心,可惜却没有。
因为太难过了。所以再也不喜欢书面了。因为太伤心了,所以把书面的朋友都删除了。又很刚好的。从妈妈那里回来时,电脑出问题了,把它送去医院了。所以除了本来就没有心情要上网,当时要真的上网也不醒啊。这时,你既然醒了。是十月十号吧。很好笑的十月十号。因为当时,我在写日期时发现到,当天的日期好特别啊,三个十啊。结果同事就说,如果在这样的日子许愿,愿望会实现哦。而那一秒,我想都没想的,既然许说,我和你一定会见面,你还没有离开。虽然我并不知道当天你真的醒来了。可是,我的愿望实现了耶!真是奇迹啊!
一直到昨天。当我的电脑回家时。当我又重新坐在电脑前面时。登录书面。有信息。是有点期待信息是你寄的。可是在那同时也对自己说,怎么可能,你已经离开了。可是一点击,是你!是你的回复。回复当天我崩溃的信息。一直追问我过的好不好。说你很内疚。不停的说对不起。说这次换你等我了。说你很担心。说你很难过因为让我这么难受。
心停了几秒。然后加速的跳的很快。无比的开心。 奇迹发生了!!
终于,我又开心对着电脑笑了。马上。立刻。我回了你的信息。结果,过了几秒,就看到你在书面写的。。。
“哇...你终于回复我了...对不起”
Is miracles. ^o^
Friday, October 8, 2010
If Only I could Turn back Time.
办法把自己的心情调整好。我还是不想睡。我没办法睡。尽管我已经很累了。明天
又要做工。真的想干脆不做。不然我一定有时有事没事把自己弄的忙到乱。音乐又
重复再重复。我又看我们之间的信息。从今以后,我只能回味吗?我跟自己说过的,
等你回来吉隆坡时,我一定会去找你。就像你说的,若我们真的见面,我们一定会
变成很好的朋友。他说奇怪了,据我所知,你是不会随便跟别人分享自己的心事的,
除了你的好朋友以外。我也不知道为什么。当初你突然的来信,我还真的觉得是很
大的惊喜呢。结果,我们认识对方,就只有这短短的,四个月。我,没有办法,真
的没有办法,就这样放手。十月吗?我不喜欢十月。不喜欢你给的生日礼物。不喜
欢!你懂不懂?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I Could Just Sit here all day just to Wait for your Email.
身酸痛。唉。我不停的打你的电话。希望你能接起来。我很像听腻的声音。也还没
能接受你已经离开的事实。可是,电话不通。电话也是死的。真的走了吗?我很想
就这样飞过去找你。可是我没钱。真该死的他妈的我没钱。去伦敦到底要多少钱才
够啊?我把书面里的朋友删掉了。不熟悉的人,一个一个删掉了。我不想再有莫名
的朋友了。反正我也没跟他们打过招呼。跟我打招呼还关心我的,有你就够了。我
在也不要跟不熟悉的人聊天了。我怨。我累了。我怨,我来不及见你。说好的冰淇
淋还来不及吃。说好要一起去摄影的也来不及。我讨厌这一切的来不及。我总是慢
了一步。他,我也是慢了一部。你,我也是慢了。。。不对,我并没有慢了一步。
而是你,走得太快了。我没有放弃。可是,你离开了。原来,我还没学会面对事实。
我又是一下班回到家就上网。再累也要上网。为了看有没有你的信息。我们的信息。
没有人可以打扰。你的关心。我的关心。没有人了解。这是多么特别的缘分。我哭
了又哭。我哭了再哭。妈的!我很想念你!
来不及说的话。
阳。我不喜欢这样。只要我静静一个人。我就会哭个不停。原来,在我心里,你有
了一个位置。不管是什么身份,我知道原来我很在乎。现在开始,是不是再也没有
人在书面陪我聊天了?是不是,再也没有人答应要陪我去吃冰淇淋了?你说一个人
看电影的感觉其实很不错。说真的,那天我试过了。是有点不错。可是习惯两个人
的我,有点不习惯一个人,然后旁边的座位空空的。那天我很开心的跟同事说,说
不定我们可以见面。说不定我们会爱上对方。说不定我们会在一起。结果,就收到
这样的消息。我的心崩溃了。
时间是十月五号?还是十月六号?
会。为什么会这样?我很讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨
厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!我讨厌十月!
讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
最后一次
候。我不敢静静。因为我知道眼泪一定会流个不停。所以我看了一部又一部的戏。
一直到身体撑不住了。一直到,时间快要过了那一天。我在等你。我不愿意接受那
个事实。我真的相信我们会见面的。你不可能就这样爽约的。怎么可以?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
October is Close ^o^
希望得到惊喜。谁不希望得到惊喜呢?少数的人吧。虽然我也不清楚那会是谁。
要做的事也做了。该做的事也尽量了。不要求的东西自然出现。要面对的也面对了。
一切,都是顺其自然。
很快的,新的一年又来了。很快的,圣诞节又要来了。我一直都很期待圣诞节的来
临。每一年都是这样。虽然自己并没有怎么去庆祝。可是就是很期待。很喜欢圣诞
树的关系吧。看到圣诞树心情就会很好。今年的圣诞节要怎么过呢?买圣诞树给妈
妈吧。说过会买的。所以一定要买。再来就是要做蛋糕。妈妈和莉莎都爱吃蛋糕。
然后,为自己买个礼物吧。虽然我每天都为自己买礼物。嘻嘻┉
Friday, September 10, 2010
你的身影
他的事情我已经不管了。他的存在又是再次没办法被删除掉。
我要学会面对的事情真的不少。可是有些事就是很难,冷静地面对。
爸爸,我恨那个病毒。
我要把爱情放一边了。没时间看待了。
工作。家人。
家人。爸爸,有办法拯救吗?
这一次。到底该怎么做?
我好像看到,你的身影。你那疲惫的眼神。不要再这样,好吗?
一次就够了,好吗?
饶了我们吧。好吗?
Lie
But I do know why I choose to lie.
Cancer. Do you know anything about cancer?
I don't. I only know that, cancer had killed my dad. Cancer, KILL.
Lots of people know that cancer is a very dangerous disease. But NOT everyone will really do care about cancer unless they "found" it. In the family.
I know nothing about cancer. But I know, if it is in stage three. It means that, it really dangerous and....can't be cure.
Cancer, again. Visit my family.
Why?
But miracles do happen, right?
It will be cure.
Everything will be fine.
Right?
It could spread very fast in the body. But it's not too late to take action, right?
Is not. Too late yet. It can be cure.
Miracles will happen.
Right?
Sorry, mum. I have to lie to you.
I choose to lie to you.
Not now. To let you know.
Cancer. Why does it comes?
Cancer.
Very common name. Very well-known disease.
Very KILLER......
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I know You Won't
'Cause when you want to
you can make me feel like we belong
We belong
Lately you make me feel all I am is a back-up plan
I say I'm done and then you smile at me and
I forget
Everything I said
I blinded into those eyes
And into your lies
You say you'll call, but I know you
You say you're coming home, but I know you
You say you'll call, but I know you won't
You say you'll call, but I know you won't
I wish you were where you're supposed to be
Close to me
But here I am just staring at this candle burning out
And still no sound
Of footsteps on my stairs
Or your voice anywhere
You say you'll call, but I know you
You say you're coming home, but I know you
You say you'll call, but I know you won't
You say you'll call, but I know you won't
Last Day Of August
If. I said IF. Rainie Yang was here, sing this song for me. Now. Definitely I will cry. Now.And it won't stop.
I met him last night.
Tiramisu. Rasberry Espirit. Hot honey lemon. What else I need to remember. Oh...I forgot the plat no. Never mind. Is not that important.
It was different. Maybe he's tired. Maybe...he's unhappy. We talked. I smiled. He didn't.
I don't want to recall back.
It will be the last.
That's all I told myself.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Up!
Pink Nails
I suppose to go out now. But, instead of having a wonderful night with him(maybe having myself another cappucino again), I sit in the room, glared at the screen....fingers on keyboard.
The music is on. The mood was gone. The song is repeating.
Whenever you heard the song that played by my PC is keep on repeating, it means something is wrong with my mood.
I color up my toes. Purple. And my fingers. Pink nails. I once told him: " I'm a fashion queen!" I was so proud of myself when I said so. And I was happy, that time. As I own his time the whole day. I was with him. And only him realized that, I put very bright color on my fingers.
I did it again, just a few minutes ago. It reminds me of him. I suppose to go out....
But I think....I will stuck here the whole night. Listening to the same song. Until I am really really tired. Then I will sleep........
Continued....
I said it was the second time, because I did the same thing again. I let it go again. The first time was on...hmmm...can't remember the year. But I let it go when I found out he's lying to me. Just like you did. I don't know why he chose to lie. All I know is, when a guy has a gal beside him, for sure he won't look at you CLEARLY or SERIOUSLY. Another reason is, I really really DONT want to mess thing up.
I was sitting inside the car for the whole day(almost the whole day).When my brother in law went to different bank to do(unsure what is it all about) different thing. Luckily I brouhgt my book and pen together. Yeah, luckily. I dont really feel want to talk. Maybe is due to I had a very tiring(both mental and physical) weekends. Maybe is due to I choose to let go. Orange's fiction. The fiction which could talk to me. I have it in my hand today, the whole day. I was tired. But I still went out with my family. Should spend some time with family(no matter what/how you feel on that particular day).
The car that passing by, really, bring me down to hell. Mood, I mean. We're in the same city. But we're so far away.
How many people choose to shut up when they could just yell out loud and clear?
Is not easy.
Sometimes, I would ask myself, "If not now?When?" Or "What about now?" Or "Why not?"
The answer is, I JUST CANT.
When you know you could just turn up and hurt another people, then do you still dare to proceed? Sound like, hey...all you need is courages. Hmm....I don't think so. What? Dare enough to hurt other? I rather hurt myself than hurt other.
Love is there.
Love without words. How many people choose to live like this?
I just want to say : " Let go, is another way to love you."
Do you, get it?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I Choose to let Go(Just like I did Before)
When was the last time I talked to dad? Can't remember. I weep whenever I talked to dad. I have no one to talk to. So I talk to dad, who, never reply me in voice, or even in my dream. Good news, bad news, I share both with tears. Maybe is due to I miss him so much. Or maybe is due to I'm still hoping he's still here.
Hey, I choose to let go again. We shouldn't have meet at the first place. I know something is wrong when I stare into your eyes. I know you're hiding something. And I know, what you're hiding all this while. I don't want to disturb. Really. I never ever, in my life thinking about screw up your relationship with her. I know I'm late. I also know I had took the wrong bus from the very beginning. You're meant to be with her. That's why I don't ask. I don't say. I can't say. I can't tell. I can't....confess. All this while, all these feelings. How much I miss you. How much I want you to know. I just can't....say it. I'm sorry.
You're protecting her. I guess. And now I think I was right. Coz you love her. You try to save the relationship. You're holding it tight. I know. I know even though you never tell. You never confess. I have no choice, here. I can't give myself a chance or options. The only thing I have to do is, let go. When I figured out you have her, start from that minutes....I force myself everyday, to ignore your existance in my life. To forget. To let go. I do it everyday. I try very hard...everyday. Not to think about you. Not to miss you. Not to care. I think I did it well.
See, I don't call. Even I have your number. I don't post, even I know your fb. I don't because I can't. I can't be so selfish. I can't choose to hurt her. I can't mess up your and her life/relationship. I just can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.......I choose to let go. The moment I saw the picture, I had chose to let you go. You never come to my life actually. I'm the one that keep thinking about you. Was I the only one that fell in love? I think I know what's the accurate answer.
I don't mind I have to bear all the pain alone. As long as I don't mess up the happiness that you deserved. Love can be a happy ending story. But in my case, I could only call it a hopeless dream. I know well enough I won't even have a chance. I knew it from the start. Thats why I talk less, I ask less and then.....even smile less with you. I don't dare to look at you anymore. As the griefness and pain, you just won't understand. You won't as you never have time for me. Coz you have her, in your life. I knew it well enough.
I'm sorry, Rose. I choose to let go again. The love, which you could actually just shout it out loud and make proud for yourself. Sorry........this is the second time.
='( Bye bye.....
Friday, August 27, 2010
I'll be Leaving
Pack my bag full of knowledge. She said, you dont have to implement all, just plug the good one which is suit your side.
Okay. I came with excitement. I'm leaving with excitement as well. I don't think I will have any chance to meet him.But it doesn't matter anymore. Good thing don't really happen on my side, do they? Sometimes, thing will change and I still have to face it alone.
Two more days. Will be a very tiring weekend. The store gonna close on 10.30pm. In which, I will have to reach home around 11pm. Could I stay up that late again. Think so. But my body will be very very tired.
Hey, Good Luck, My dear.
Because of Me
He said she suspected something. And..... I did not received any news from him since the day I started to work here. She asked him weird question. He's trying to protect me, so he said he doesn't know me that well.
Because of me.
He teached me patiently. He explained everything, which he did not did it before. She told me he only know how to order, so some people is not satisfy.
Because of me.
He will comes back. We promise to have some breakfast together. So he said he will come back.
Because of me.
But now. She's upset. She knew something is wrong(but in fact, there's still nothing change between us).Maybe something had started to change between them. Maybe he started to hide something from her. Maybe he wanted to let go. Maybe.....okay, it just a MAYBE. Yeah, maybe.
Because of me.
She knew is something to do with me. Is she really sure that she's right? How does she know it is something to do with me? I don't do anything stupid so far. Then why me?
Because of me.
Am I mess up the thing? Hey! I never do anything that might destroy your relationship with him,okay? Never did I have a feeling want to show up and just grab him away from you. If I really did, for sure he will long gone. Away from you. As I am very sure and know who am I. For sure I will win, if you call this is a battle. I will win, as no one teach me to lose. I had been trained to win all this while. I only want to win. Thats why I never say no, as thats the way I train myself up. You bring me down once, I will stronger twice.
Because of me.
Ask yourself. Why are you scare? Lack of confidence? Then you could kill yourself. Lack of confidence could be really scary. It could kill yourself within a second. Want to try? Go to the mirror and say to yourself, " I look ugly." How do you feel now? hehehehe.....Sorry, that's not working on me. I AM not that weak. I WILL not kill myself. and, I AM not that inconfidence.
Because of me.
Is he breaking up with you? How do you feel? Being cheated? Then tell yourself there's more good guy out there. Why scare? Why weep? Why down? I will not be with him. No matter how. We are nothing but colleague. Sorry. I never mean to screw up your life. We are not meant to be with each other. I'm already gone. Okay?
Because of me.
I never thought I will be this "bad girl". Hahaha....
You and Me. He and she.
You get to know different people. Be friend/competitor with them. Learn from each other. Observe but never implement the mistakes. Smile and help.
I help them as they're really lack of manpower. In the end, someone bought me cake. Someone bought me lunch. Someone bought me Donut. Someone bought me dinner.
Then, you share your story with different people. And they share theirs. Suddenly, we discuss about marriage life. I said if one day I get married, for sure I will resign from MPH. She agreed. Then she mentioned to me that marry a guy who was older than you was a good thing as they will take care of you. I said I once saw in TV, someone mentioned that a girl who is marry to a guy that is older than her eight years old will have very happy ending life. Then she said, "Tim is older than you eight years, you could think about him." Hahahahaha...great, now even Ellis wanted to put me together with you. I wonder why everyone likes to put "we" together. What? They can see it in my eyes? Or in your eyes? I laughed, then she said I blushed. Godness!
Someone went to my wall and posted want to meet me today. So I did not go home with Ellis. She came to MPH and meet me, then we went out to have Japanese dishes together. Another good thing you get from MPH, you make friend, and all these friends, love you. I met Pei Lian only once. That is on June, we went to visited chinese book supplier together with Richard. First met, then become good friend. When she knew I was in Ipoh, she instantly said want to meet up. Then there we were, eating sushi together. And, Of course, I have myself some unagi again. ^^ hihi... Then, Kelvin, bought a box of donuts for me just because I helped him a lots on housekeeping. See....God loves good girl like me ^^. I had free banana cheesecake yesterday, and free unagi/McD/donuts today^^.
Night.
Like usual, after took shower, I will have time for facebooking again. Then, I received mail from him.
He said he had a terrible day. I know what's the story. For sure about her. Cheating again.
So?
So he said he felt like shit. Why? Because she said she wont meet the ex again, but then, before she left to London, she had had a wonderful date with the ex. hmm......He's exploded/heartbroke/upset/disappointed(like usual). I think, he's nuts!
He let her control his mind. He let her rules his world. What for? Blind by love. BODOH!!!( But I didnt say so, as it might hurt him more).
So, again, I said, let it be. Let her go. Aiyo...there's so many good girl out there, choose me lar. I will be the most beautiful and caring princess for you. Haiya.....stupid one.
Never mind. Whatever.
I have my life. Happy happy life. Cheer up. Long Long way to go^^
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
First Time In Life
I think Zaf was thinking the same thing, that's why he bought us all a piece of Secret Recipe cake. Hmmm...yum yum. Thank you so much^^
Ok, what to celebrate? First time, is the very FIRST time, I received paycheck(BONUS) from MPH. Hahahaha....Maybe is the first time that make me so excited and happy. Maybe(also) is about the amount that I saw in the acc that make me MORE excited and happy. Hey, this is my first time,man. How many first time do we have in our entire life? Of course ONLY one! That's why! Is something to celebrate! First time is always something about excitement(even though sometime it comes with stress), then here comes the so called Happiness. AND.....lovely smile....for the whole DAY ^^....wee..........!
Ask me now! Are you happy, my dear?
YES!!! OF COURSE!!! (^O^)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I can live Without You
Lack of communication again. Whats the problem? This, Is a problem. Wherever I go, it seems like everything is all about LACK of COMMUNICATIONs. Whether in the office, between me and senior colleague. In home, with mum( I dont want her to worry, in fact). In school/college/ or....wherever I go. I thought I chose to be silent was good; you know, sometimes you could accidentally hurt other with your words. So, most of the time, I dont ask, but, I listen.
Yet. Now, suddenly, I felt that, this, communication is really important. When somebody ask you where is this somebody been to, and you dont know how to answer. Which, in fact, this somebody suppose to be that "important" person in your life. Like your boyfriend/bestie/hubby/honey or whatever. And, funny thing is, I dont know. Have no idea at all. Where is he now. Why is he there. What is he doing there. I have no idea and F***ing shit how come I am the one that have no idea at ALL! In the end, I'm the one that have to ask them back, where is he now? How ridiculous. And Idiot!
Another funny thing is, I don't mind. Don't seems to worry around. Why is he acting like this. I suddenly feel I don't want to know and I don't have to. Why should I? If he needed me to know, for sure he will tell. Otherwise, what for I'm waiting for the answer? All these while, I thought I'm the one that keeping lots of secrets. But now, seems like I'm the one that keep digging YOUR secret, Mr. Teo!
I had once mad with this situation before. So I tell myself, if you don't like to talk, okay, thats fine, then I will do my own thing without you. And Holy Christ, I was surprised as I really could live my life without you. Who the hell are you thinking you are in my life? Some sort of prince or king? Oh, excuse me! Go F*** yourself. I am the Queen and Princess In MY Life, okay?
Meeting? Visit the brother? Is all lie. Great. Maybe is time to admit to each. That we're no longer need each other. I've live in my own way long enough. I know how to take care of myself. My job. My friend. My family. Get use to it, then you will always know HOW to handle almost, everything.
Ok, thank god again. Coz I had been with him for seven years. Who can stand my temper for this long? Mr. Teo. Who was there when I faced with terrible family crisis? Mr. Teo. Who took care of me when I was sick and only worked for half day? Mr. Teo. Yup, almost everything. Whatever I do, I do it with you. I was, with you, all these time. We're together. But after for so many years, I figured out something. You dont share with me, like I always do share, almost everything with you.
After so many years. Thing begin to change. So slightly, until I dont even realize. If I dont pay attetion on it. You dont share. Why? You dont like to talk. Why?
I wonder. Why?
Are we really, do not need each other? Anymore?
You Owe Me Ice Creammmmmmmm.
I'm enjoying the music. Played by my nephew(He didn't go to school, stomach ache, he said). The piano. Relaxing.
I'm not working today. I stayed up late till 1.40pm last night. Someone missed me. So did I. I miss them, I miss her, I miss him. Thus, I woke up 10am today(Lazy pig^_^)
We shared and cared with each other. Even though we never did, meet each other before. We don't even belong in the same city. (This is what I like about Internet - Facebook I meant, you get to talk with people who you dont really know, but you talk like old friends).
Finally, he let go, he said. She's crying. He's speechless. He left. Then I was there(here in Malaysia of course, he's in London but I was here, to share). He's down. But it will pass, I said. Once he chose to let go, he must face it.
We talked and laughed. Like best friend. He started to be in my life on June, 2010. When I went to KL all alone. When I started my journey to fight for my own future. I worked hard. He knew. I fell in love, hard. He knew too. He told me his story. That gal. She kept met the ex, he's upset, disappointed. I dont even have chance to tell, so I told him, about him. "At least you have chance to say you love her..." I said. He's lucky enough, isn't he?
The situation look a bit alike. Familiar. So I know how to handle. I always know how to handle, every little trouble that occur in my life. Work, relationship, friendship. Just family. Family crisis. I silence. Weep. Wont tell. I always say I'm ok. Coz I really will. You know, I'm positive thinking.
I want him to be happy. So I said, lets go for ice cream.
Rum and raisin flavour,please, he said. Chocolate vanilla, I said.
We owe each other ice cream.
He's the frog prince. I'm the princess Rose. He's the prince doctor. Oh....don't leave me alone in the castle.
Monday, August 23, 2010
界線
照片散了一地沒撿 該不該想念
什麼讓我變膽怯 我覺得暈眩
還不想 去定位 對你的感覺
感情太美 還沒心理準備
友情太甜 又變得太曖昧
我愛你 太強烈 我該往後退
愛情的底限 也許我不該跨越
我愛你 太遙遠 我還學不會
愛情的界線 我站在邊緣
眼神開始有些交會 在每個瞬間
心裡開始有錯覺 在每一個黑夜
沒有你在身邊會覺得不安全
我不想 用愛上你 解釋這一切
感情太美 還沒心理準備
友情太甜 又變得太曖昧
朋友是最好定位 情人關係太多變
不想把你當敵人去防備
我愛你 太強烈 我該往後退
愛情的底限 也許我不該跨越
我愛你 太遙遠 我還學不會
愛情的界線 我站在邊緣
愛情的底線 我站在邊緣
在瘋狂的世界 愛看的見
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
I was alone in that city. When this song was playing on the radio, you're sitting next to me.
We're so close. But we're too far as well.
How I wish I could just tell you that, I just need you now......
She said : " I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the times......"
So am I.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
我為什麼那麼愛你
Somehow, I dont have to say. I just have to listen. Whispering in silence night.
Please be silent.
I wont cry. So dont blame yourself.
Smile (^0^).





















