短发

很少。把头发剪得很短。

很多时候，我都是留着长发，直发。

第一次，剪短头发，自己很喜欢，也被爸比称赞很漂亮。龟毛又要求完美的爸比，从来都没有称赞过我短发很漂亮，真是难得啊。

A Thousand Years

Heartbeats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

December

Waaaaaaaaaa.............

Remember when was the last time I posted on my blog? Can't remember actually. Not until I went and checked it a few minutes ago.

书。

去上班，我被书包围着。没想到的是，那三天的假期里，我回到家，也是被书陪伴着。买了六本漫画，六本Fantasy stories, 漫画是一口气看完了（在那三天里面），可是故事书却还卡在第一本，很厚，字也很小，再加上，我看了二十页就会停下来，不是有别的重要事情要先做，就是跟侄女一起看电视。没办法，我长这么大了，还是很喜欢看动画。哈！所以每次会加买了那么多的DVD,嘴巴上说是给她看，其实是一起看，因为我们都爱看。我是，长不大的大人。哈！

电影。

很久很久没有看电影了。因为男朋友不浪漫，不会带我去看电影。也是因为我是可怜虫，没有朋友愿意约我去看电影。所以，哎哟，好久好久了，没有去看电影。很多次对他呱呱叫说要看电影，结果最后还是回到家上网罢了。最后一次看电影是几时啊？忘了。只知道这个月的第一个星期日，我终于终于啊，被带去看电影了。当然，那也是我苦苦要求后得到的。哈！只可惜啊，选的那部戏真的是啊，笨到不好笑。很烂的电影啊，叫“大英雄，小男人”。 告诉你哦，真的不好看的，别浪费你的钱了，别犯我犯的错误。

水果。

这个月吃了很多榴莲和红毛丹。有了车子之后，便变成了妈妈的司机。载她去老家找榴莲，载她去大姨姨家聊天也去看了生病的舅舅。要回去古晋后，妈妈还贴心的七早八早起床去摘红毛丹给我带下去，而且还摘了一大个纸袋，装的满满的，足够十个人吃。我的妈呀。没关系，带去上班给同事吃，他们很开心还称赞妈妈的红毛丹很甜呢。嘻嘻。

好啦。我要睡觉啦。

夜读吗？

我是有点压力。我是很烦恼没错。

我每一次很烦恼的时候，我会跟自己说，“一切会顺利过关的。”虽然我不知道哪里来的把握，可以这样跟自己说，可以这样来说服自己安慰自己。可是我相信。一直坚持的相信， 你往好方面想的话，好事总会发生的。

所以我把注意力转移到，日常生活上。

工作。上网聊天。夜读。没错，是夜读，不是阅读。因为最近都是放了工后才回家阅读的。因为夜也深了，所以是夜读没错。

跟老大依然的聊天。虽然很少会像以往那样聊得很很开心。笑个不停那种了。可是我们依然聊天。老大人就是很好，很注重朋友。所以再忙，他也是会回应，最终还是会回应问我过得怎样，打听我这里的生活。我们都一直在互相分享自己的生活。为什麽知道他很看重朋友呢？看他的生活照就懂了。他时常跟朋友出就是很好的例子了，socializing,他说。所以我想，那也是他还会找我的其中一个原因吧。他的面子书，除了我一直在跟他对话，好像没有别人了。他的面子书，会活过来，也是因为我一直在回应。其他的朋友，他应该是用别的方法联络，而我，他用面子书。那也是好，因为我们就是通过面子书认识的。

我很累了。睡啦。

秘密

Halo,亲爱的部落格。

告诉你一个秘密哦。

今天快要玩完了。2012年要来了。可是我觉得啊。接下来，会很忙啊。

连圣诞节都没办法好好的过。我真的。。。唉，无言。

明年啊，我会是个大忙人。生活压力也会变大。我会是个穷光蛋，因为明年不知能好好工作吗。

我觉得很累啊。压力怎么一直都在。无形的压力。要我的命！

Everything Happens for a Reason.

I guess that is why you did that. To make me realize that how important you are to me.

To make yourself realized that you needed me just like I need you.

Now that something change.

I guess the main reason God plays this game with both of us is,

To remind us that we're meant for each other, so don't ever do silly thing to tear each other apart.

Please mark your words, darling.

不要看轻我们女人掉的眼泪

这次是真的心痛。不，应该是说，这次是比以前的更痛。

看着他挣扎着，拼了命的喊着“不要！”的时候。心里感觉不到痛是假的。

人越来越大，越有感情。长大了，就会懂什麽是爱。也开始会选择，选择自己要去哪里，应该去哪里。

就算是个小孩子。也会懂的。

姐姐又是如何的咽下那一口水，忍住自己的眼泪？

以后，会很难分离的。因为他长大了。他懂了。他明白的，谁是谁，谁爱他。

很辛苦的，他们俩母子的离别。虽然我可能感觉不到是多么的痛。可是我明白。多多少少都懂的。

以后一定不会有事的。说好了一定不会有事的。

女人不是轻易掉眼泪。那一颗眼泪，是多么的痛，多么的悲。又有谁懂。坚强的人，是谁，又有谁懂？

冷静

你在等什麽？你在烦什麽？







脾气怎么那么坏？你就 不能温柔一点吗？




没礼貌的小孩子。

News Spread Fast on Internet =)

I read this on Facebook today:

"If you cry at trouble, it grows double;
But if you laugh at trouble, trouble will disappear just like bubble."

It's a positive phrase that keep people going in their life.

I knew Steve Jobs died because of cancer on Facebook. I learnt that Marco Simoncelli passed away on his crash in Sepang on Youtube.

Thank to Facebook and Youtube, I know news that I never thought I will learn to know. Because am lazy to read newspaper, switch to music or song when the radio read on news for the day, and switch channel on TV or turn to read books when news on 8 is going to start.

Don't say it is bad when you're addicted to Facebook or online(whatever network). Because for me, it is this Facebook and Youtube that keep me aware of news that happened around the world.

Don't blame me for sitting in front of the PC !! hehe...

Sport News

Hello, blogger Darling.

Do you like sports? Have you ever participate and involve yourself in those hotty and sweaty sports to release tension and get healthier or feel great? Well, honestly I do. Or should I say, I did? Hardly, on and off, sort of, you know. Yup, am super lazy in sport thingy. Go for jog once in a while,perhaps a month, or two month. And there's none of any sports that really attract me. But at least, I do like badminton and basketball. And ballet, I think(even though that was long time ago, cause I was totally impressed for those gals who become ballerina when I watch Olympic in TV). I fell in love with those who played basketball, but not for badminton, I don't think Lee Chong Wei is handsome no matter how, he's too thin and always lose to Lin Dan, too bad. Oh, that's not the point I wrote for today. Yeah, I do like people who plays basketball and believe it or not, my first love(not real love or true love, just some puppy love, but leave a deep impression and remembrance in me) was a guy who played basketball, even until now he's still strong on that, but the truth is, he's weak in staring at me, cause he never looks at me, you know, to realize that am not that bad anyway. And, kick him away, the story now is my boyfriend is a basketball player too. Not as strong as that puppy-love-guy, but at least, he was(once, before I mean). That is why he was tall, that tall, A big head taller than I do.

Oh...back to the point again, I watched football with my bf today. Not that I'm really watching at it. I brought book with me " Red is for Remembrance" and ordered myself Tea C Peng and French Fries. I'm not supposed to be there. Because I don't keen to football, not to any of those sporty thingy besides basketball and badminton. I remembered I did watch badminton games with my bf before, that was first time and until now, could be considered as the last as well because it had last for long I couldn't recall how many years had past and we don't go for another games show together again. Okie, so we're there, Kuching Station, a malay cafe where everyone, almost everyone ordered this "Lelapan Ayam"(there is fish as well to choose); when they finished their dishes, they locked their eyes on the screen, LCD flat screen that hang above. Focusing on the tiny ball that been kicked here and there among the blue and red uniform player. Manchester United vs Man City. I wasn't concentrate at all. Not until the shout goes like this "Owwwwww........!!!" They applauded, they shrieked(for seconds), they laughed, then they commented. Hmmm....so this is how it felt, to watch football in a cafeteria. I knew it actually. I knew it before I was there to feel it myself. Because I saw it in TV. The different is, it felt so alive.haha...

And guess what, I know nothing about football but I do know who is Manchester United. As I heard it before, the name was too famous I heard it before when I was in high-school. That was all I know. I do know another group that called Liverpool. Both of this is famous enough for someone like me to know. So in my mind, both of this groups, should be, supposed to be, very strong and tough enough to win the game. But I was wrong. Very very wrong. Tonight, I mean. Because they fail the game, disappointed their fans. They lose the game. Been beaten so badly and attacked so fiercely. Ha!!And all in a sudden, I don't think they are that GREAT!! Auch!! I thought you guys will win man! 1-6!!! Man City score 3 ball within 5 mins and you guys could do nothing. Hmmm....I bet you're crying now(with no tears). I know how it feels.

Okie. I admit. I quite enjoy the game, anyway. Quite fun, in a way. Especially when you heard them scream and shout. But definitely not in a way when the malay teens shouted their stupid words, who probably trying to show-off that they're cool(which is not at all). oFF we went home with pappy's team acted so much like a loser.haha. Never mind, they are still rich with money in their pocket, nothing to upset about, for them.

That' s all for tonight.

Rest In Peace for Marco Simoncelli, may God be with you, Amen.(I felt sad with his dead, even though I don't know who he is. But it's hurt to see him crash in his game, and died instantly with his-so-young-age).

You're on My Heart Just like a Tattoo

第八年。

We had been together for eight years now. If you want to know. Or maybe you just don't care. Because I will always be there whenever you need me, and want me to be, here, with you. Am I right? So you never think of, that perhaps one day, you will losing me, and it will be too late for you to figured out that I'm not longer there when you need me.

Was it too long?

Nope. Not really. At least for me, is not. I'm still in the progress of loving you. More and more. Maybe just a little bit more everyday, but don't you think that's more than enough, because you have me, loving you. Yes, is me, and it is not someone else who you don't know, you don't love, you don't care and she's not belongs to you? Yeah, you should be grateful with those days,these days, in our future-days as well, that I'm here, and I'm going to be there too.

I always love the way I am. And I love you for who you are. Just that, well...something do change between us on this eighth year. Something harmful and had left a scar or should I say nightmare? Mark? a dark shadow? I don't know. I don't want to lose you. Never will. Never want to. I don't know how you feel. Are you for real? When you say those words? I don't get it sometimes even though I do know it is not as complicated as I thought sometimes. Really, is not. What you meant is what you mean. And that's it.

I trust you. So please don't let me down.

I appreciate every minutes every moments I have with.

I'm happy. I'm satisfied(maybe sometimes I don't, but I always accept you, for you're the one I always need, remember?). And,

I'm in love.

So please don't let it change.

The love between us.

Don't let it go. Never, please, let it go.

Is not easy to get here. Is not easy to find me. Is not easy to have me. Remember?

Let us be together. Til the end of the world.
I love my Pappy =)

Mr Korea

喂，部落格朋友。你好。

今天跟往常一样。回家后就是去面子书，回应老大的信息。然后就随便看看。然后看到一句 ：

“天秤天性好玩 , 好奇心重 , 容易满足 ;
不管多大 , 童心一直不会变 !”

Okay, that is so true.

我几岁了你知道吗？我的脾气不是盖的呢。可以忍的本小姐都忍了。可是是有限度的。该长大的时候是长大了没错。可是，小孩子，还是我的最爱啦。喜欢被疼。喜欢撒娇。喜欢闹脾气（不是生气的凶啦）。喜欢装傻。 然后呢，开心就好。甚至，很喜欢欺负别人。

对了，今天看到Mr Korea. 那个帅气的小子，每次来都会带他那小小的女朋友的小子。我想他应该是比我小吧。只是表面上还有体型看起来不小罢了。很久没看到他了。想必他不是这里的人吧。可能是最近在忙考试（你怎么知道他是学生？？？），或是回家乡了（你又怎么知道他不是这里的人？？？）。其实都是猜的啦。就感觉是那样，应该是那样没错。我的直觉都很准的不是吗？看到他还在想自己在哪里见过他。哈，有够傻的。若不是自己老是偷瞄人家，还瞄了不止那一下，又怎么会有这种“哪里看过” 的感觉啊？ 早就该忘了一干二净啦。

偶尔会这样。还是会。希望那个人会再来店里。虽然我们称不上是朋友。而他也不可能会再来的。可是还是会有那么一点点的希望，可以再见一次面。虽然我们不认识。可是那一刻的交流真的让人影响深刻。甚至深刻到让我以为这是缘分， 然后才发现到，原来只不过是插身而过。可是还是会觉得，甚至相信，我们会再见面。因为他给的第一影响除了是很不要脸的自以为以外，第二就是他傻的可爱啊。哈！可是我其实是忘记他的脸了。有一天如果真的出现了，我也未必会去打招呼。

最近有一点。。。衰啦。很多电器都坏了。不知怎么搞的。可是日子数一数二还是要过。不理的人，我都完全不理了。来打扰的人也算平安的应付了。明天要加油。

睡觉啦。

二十三岁了。

好久不见啊。

是一个月前的事情吗？ 我来这里留笔迹？

前一天的事情了。我满二十三岁了。原来，我活在这个世界上二十三年了。时间过得还真快啊。

有没有许愿啊？ 老实说，并没有。

因为没有蛋糕，也没有点蜡烛，所以没机会吹蜡烛，所以就没有许愿啦。

收到了很多人的祝福。可是却只收到一个礼物罢了。当天还要去上班。甚至被欺负所以跟老板耍脾气。哈哈。我真了不起，既然跟老板说，“Don't talk to me, go away." 小姐，你好厉害啊。

过得平平淡淡的。所以觉得好像并没怎么生日，没怎么变老一岁嘛。嘻嘻。

哦！对了，我是没有蛋糕。可是我有吃到蛋糕。也有收到蛋糕（照片）哦。吃到的蛋糕是老板带来的。而收到的蛋糕是寄过来的。虽然只能看，吃不到。不过还是要谢谢那个，有心人啦。因为，有哦，我有开心到。

I will Remember.

以为断了翅膀。以为，从此以后会很辛苦。

后来想一想，可能是时候长大了。是时候展开自己的翅膀，勇敢地飞翔了。因为是时候靠自己的力量冒险了。

是很舍不得没错。你让我们站起来，让我们看到这里有阳光照亮未来，让我们慢慢地走向对的方向。

是很可惜没错，因为以为我们可能会一直一起挑战到底；以为随时可以向你诉苦我们这里的不便；以为一直都会有你照着我们。

原谅我有这样自私的想法，忘了你也会感到疲惫，甚至心疼。

原谅我一直对你的依靠，甚至还忘了，我不是为你而继续打着个战的，而是为了自己的前途而拼命寻找方向的。

你是我很珍惜也很崇拜的人。更是我这一生中，遇到最宝贵的贵人。也是我最爱惜的老师还有前辈。

我知道你也再忍住。所以我不提，我明白那心中的不舍，我也明白为什么你没有回头招手。我们很爱对方不是吗？虽然没有血缘关系，在那里，你就是我的姐姐，一直保护我的姐姐，给我鼓励的姐姐不是吗？

我哭了。很难过的哭了。在你下车之后，在你进饭店里之后，在车子被开走之后。哭得很糟糕。

隔天，小同事问我，是不是心情不好。我说不是，是睡不饱。

我撒谎了。因为我是很难过。而他不懂你对我是多么重要。

我以为我的翅膀断了。我曾经那样以为着，所以心情很低落。打从我知道你选择离开那天开始，我的心情就会低落，还稍微地迷失了方向。我努力的压抑着自己的心情，努力地掩护自己的心情去上班。不可以让他们也难过。不可以让他们也以为自己也断了翅膀。我了解我身边的同事。他们跟我一样需要你，甚至依靠你。所以你走，我们都会稍微迷失了方向。

可是我不能在他们的面前路露出那脆肉的一面。因为在你不在的时候，我是他们的依靠，我是他们的安心，我是他们的榜样。

多亏你的教导还有劝告与提议。我学了很多（虽然坏脾气还是没法完全控制），也明白了很多，我没有一个人，我可以在黑暗里找到阳光，我也可以，慢慢地看清自己的本事何在。

我知道你哭了。因为我也哭了。鼻子很酸，眼泪无助。

要加油！我对自己说。要做的，是把你教过的，吩咐过的，继续维持下去。甚至，把之前还没来得及做的，努力的做到最好。

我想跟爸爸说，你是我生命中一个很伟大的礼物啊。或许，是爸爸派来的天使，守护神也说不定。

以后，请好好 享受你的生活。

八年

过得怎么样啊？ 记得吗？那个第一个爱上你的人？知道是谁吗？ 那个曾经爱过你的人？那个，你并没有发现到他的存在，可是却在远方默默爱着你的人？我不知道有没有遇到，也不知道，那个人有没有存在过。 可是我爱过。 有两个作家，我之所以看他们的书，是因为它的题目，而不是被故事内容给吸引到。而是，那看似寂寞可是却坚强的题目。雪伦和橘子的作品。越爱，越寂寞。越躲，越孤单。 我记得，我第一次见到你的时候。缘分就是这样，有时我们的第一次，上天并不会马上把我们就放在一起手牵手；也不会马上让我第一眼就爱上你。八年。时间是八年。从我第一次见到你算起，直到我们在一起。八年。八年后，我才爱上你。而你，是在五年后才发现到我的存在（虽然我并没有爱上你），然后在六年后才喜欢上我。八年后，爱上我。 缘分很奇妙对吧？我任然记得我看到你的第一眼。那时候，我就知道你的名字了，因为我偷看你的名牌。而你，五年后才知道原来还有我这个女孩存在着。在你就读的那所学校里，可你就是当时完完全全的不知道我的存在。 有什么关系，我们后来遇到了。我们后来告白了。我们后来手牵手了。我们，甚至一起走了八年的时间。当时分开了的八年算什么？给彼此自由的空间，你不知道吗？接下来的八年，希望还是你，那个爱着我的你，牵着我继续走下去。因为，我不要，越爱，越寂寞。更不要，越躲，越孤单。

爱我多一点

听过无条件为你这首歌吗？ 很久很久以前听的。 这个世界上，有多少个人那样的幸运，找到会无条件爱自己的人呢？ 知道什么是善意的谎言吗？我觉得，不管是善意还是恶意，谎言就是谎言不是吗？当你选择撒谎的那一刻，你心中的那个小坏蛋就从此诞生了。 结下来，就会养成坏习惯。因为，这个坏孩子，一诞生，你就必须负起责任去养大它。就像真的孩子一样。 很可怕吗？ 对。谎言是很可怕的东西。不管是善意还是恶意的。 我不希望你骗我。因为在骗我的同时，你也在骗自己了，不是吗？ 到最后，你会犹豫，你爱的那个人，到底是我还是你自己。若你爱你自己胜 过于我，那请你放我走，因为这样只会伤害我。 因为这样，会让我失去自我。会让我忘记自己。也会让你失去，当时你是如何爱上的那个我，最原始的我，最美的我，不是吗？ 所以求求你，不要伤害我。 工作上我可以自我保护。家庭上，我可以照顾别人胜于自己。学业上，我永远可以战胜自己。可是爱情上，我脆弱的，用错的壳来保护自己，终究还是会破，然后伤痕累累。 所以求求你，爱我多一点。

九月吗？

好久不见啊。亲爱的部落格。 我痛到了。那一段时间。我不想想起。所以决定不把它写下来。可是你知道吗？就算不写，我也是很痛。甚至很难复原。 今天，我又发现我在伤害自己了。我在同一个地方跌倒了。我很痛啊。 是我的错吗？到底是谁决定惩罚我？ 外面的天很蓝啊。可是我的心很灰啊。

这样比较好

我想， 我会有一段时间不会写部落格了。

有些事情，不是一定说出来，就能解决。

人，是自己慢慢长大的。

我知道自己很过分。

过分的人，除了会怪别人，也很记仇的，你懂吗？

Hush ~~ Rainning Now.

瞧， 下雨了。

冷吗？

会不会寂寞？











雨水，满满的，在路上，会怕被弄湿吗？

有人很爱下雨天哦。

知道为什麽吗？


因为，人始终都会觉得，

爱情啊，很伟大。



两个人时，我们从来都没有怕过。

不是吗？

老大好像谈恋爱了。

不过感谢你，又想送我礼物了。

虽然不知道你是以什麽心情来送那份礼物的。

也不知道你送礼物的用意是什麽？

可是我很开心哦。

你那么远，还会想要送我礼物。

看来，我们的友情不是真的普通的友情哦。

很特别吧？我想你也怎么觉得。





听说，台北也是在下雨呢。

习惯

习惯的事，会一直重复的做。

习惯用一样的password,在每一次开新的account时。不想换，脑子也想不到要把它换成什麽的不一样了。也是，不换因为怕太多会记不起来。虽然自己很臭屁的老是说自己记忆力很好，很很自信的说。可是，日子偶尔的匆匆忙忙过着时，难免会忘了，怪能怪谁？

那天，你不是忘了吗？结果焦急的要命，因为该做的事情没办法做了，要问谁，可是谁会帮你记password啊？都说了是密码。自己定的密码，别人怎么会知道？知道了那就不叫做密码啦。

习惯做的事情一直重复的做有好的一面。

那就是会越做越上手，越做越快也不会出差错。可是会让你变懒，懒得懂脑子，懒得接受新的法子。

我很少冒险去做某些事情。会冒险，也是因为逼不得已或是没有选择之下的情况才会这么做的。

听过吗？人不是因为有自信而挑战，而是挑战了之后才有信心的。

没有选择的情况下，每一个人都可以变得很勇敢的。尝试了第一次后，就不怕第二次了（当然并不是所有事情都被鼓励该有第二次的）。

习惯，是好也是坏。

因为你习惯了，所以你不会得罪你自己。因为习惯了，所以你认认识你自己。

我习惯靠闹钟起床，宁愿头痛怕起来，也不愿迟到。很倔强的，那人就是我啦。

原谅

请原谅我的过错。
原谅我的无知。
原谅我的固执。
还有原谅我的过分（若你真的曾觉的我是个很过分的女人的话）。

对你的不解。我想到了最后我还是不会了解。

是听到了一点关于你的事情。你来到我们的队里，现在变成了，减轻了我的负担，曾经对你的指责，我觉得算了，因为看到你在改进了。没错，至少，我可以放心的让你一个人去负责那一切，而我只要知道你有没有继续负责任到底就够了。

对你的不解。弄懂了是一点，我也不会问太多，因为你不是我的对手，你也永远都不会是。甚至，我该不该多了解你，我想那也就算了，因为你连你的家人都没办法应付，又何苦去了解我为什麽不想了解你呢？

对不起，我要求的是完美。我要，最好的。

对不起，我的责任感很重。

对不起，若这些日子来，让你幸苦了。我看到你的付出，真的。

谢谢你。还有，请原谅我。

I'm Your Big Fanz!!

There's always a thing that you like most in your life. A thing that, no matter what or how or when, when you have it in your hand, you'll feel happy.

I love music. And I have a few singers that I used to listen to their songs & musics.But there's only one, that I love most and never miss her album. Even though I don't buy all her albums and don't keep all her pics in my wallet/post her poster in my bedroom, wear clothes just like the way she is or put on make-up like her fabulous eyes. But I listen to all her songs and know her style/way of produce her musics. I don't know her biography that much, but I know she was small, was a Canadian, just divorced last year and, she has a super duper fantastic voice.

Her first album, named "Let Go". She was 17 then. She looks so naive but lots of teenagers like her style. Include me.



My favorite song was(most of the songs in this album were my favourite actually) but the one I like most was Tomorrow.



I never lie. She really does, has amazing voice. Her second album was named "Under My Skin". I don't know why she named it that way, but that is so-her-way, the punk princess. And I guess she never will deny that.



The same make up, but she changes a bit, where she wore skirts(in her punk way). Favourite song? Nobody's home. Bring in some sorrow and loneliness, but touch and tough as well.



I've wait for years and years. When I finally get her news, she was married.Hmmm...then I thought, perhaps she won't release any more album after that. As this always happen don't they? When a famous international artist/singer stop to sing, is because they're married and have kids and families to handle...So is a bit upset me but she was still, the prettiest bridegroom I ever seen. I felt happy for her, she was 21 then. But had grown up into a lady. Elegant lady. Surprises she gave to everyone, she released an albums after she married. The third one named "The Best Damn Thing".



She was married. I guess she's pretty much happy with her new life with her lovely hubby by her side, that was why she named her new album " The Best Damn Thing"? Yeah, marry was a best and damn thing, I agreed on that too. But when I heard her song "When You're Gone" in this album and watch the video clip, I was speechless once again about her talent. I adored her more. I even sing this song every time when I have chance in the Kbox. It was my favourite song !!



I thought she was happy with her wedding. But I was wrong. Or should I say, she was happy, once. But not again. So they split. They divorced. Then, here comes her new and latest album, "Goodbye Lullaby". Which released on March 8, 2011. Even though I have yet purchased the CDs myself, I already listen to all of the songs in it. Still in her way and style, I repeat the CD which I download and copy all her songs in the car everyday when I drive and everyday when I start my day. Is perfectly perfect.

.

She makes me smile, just like her song "SMILE". She makes me asked " Are you for real?" in her song "4 Real". And I really wish she was here, as my heart do sing "Wish You Were Here" too. I love her, I guess I will always will.




And guess what?? She had released her perfume too!! The first one was Black Star, while the second and latest one was Forbidden Rose!!



Unfortunately I don't know what is the smell of the perfume.



And I wonder when will it be available in my place, this bull-shit little city.



The one that I wanted most is the second perfume, the Forbidden Rose.



Because there's a "rose" in the name, I wonder does the perfume smell of roses as well? Which is my favourite flower and my special name.

Avril even voiced a character in the animated film, Over the Hedge, which I have DVD on that animation too.




She has a wide smile, doesn't she??

She write song for the film "Alice In the Wonderland", named "Alice" as well.




I say, she is beautiful. I mean it.








And hot too. You agree on that too,right?












I Love Avril Ramona Lavigne, aka Avril Lavigne, The Best Damn Punk Princess.

I Love You so.

Sunshine.

Orange's Fiction.

Detective Conan.

You and You.

I Love You So.

“什麽样的爱情最残忍？”
“我告诉你，不被承认的爱情最残忍。”

“对不起，我没能好好爱你，
可我就是爱你，还爱你。”

“而我无论如何也希望把我和他的事写下来。”
“为什麽？”
“因为我确定我这辈子不会再这么爱一个男人了。”

My heart is open. Tell me you feel the same.

Doctor

Don't worry when everything is going to over.

As I already let everything drop back to zero.

Don't cry too loud when what left was only memories.

As you did fell in love, don't you?

Don't call for the doctor.

As you're your own doctor.

The pain can be felt, because you cause it to.

Now, remember, the doctor is in your heart.

The Day

I am nobody.

Perhaps I just woke up from a dream.

As if nothing has happen? How could you?

I hate to be in this silence, world.

I thought you know that.

Hush Hush

I felt like an idiot.

Every time when am expecting you could do something for me. Oh yeah, maybe I didn't do anything for you so you thought you don't have to do anything for me as well?

I felt betrayal.

and disgust.

Maybe it would be better if I start everything with zero.

Erase the past. Delete the friendship. Delete the relationship.

Why should I love you all then? When what I get in the end is ignorance from you?
Betrayal? and pain?

I don't deserve this. And you don't deserve my love as well.

This year is suck.

And stay away from me. I won't feel touch anymore when you say you love me. Not anymore.

One by one. A to Z.

I'm deleting you. Friend? Best friend? Boy friend? Girl friend?

It should be better is I am alone now.

What childhood friend? What high school couple? Is all shit.

Hush Hush. AND shut up.

AM better off without you.

Past is memories. Was it sweet? Not anymore.

我。的世界。

你短发。我长发。

你小眼睛。我大眼睛。

你向左。我向右。

你向前。我向后。

世界，各走各的。

脚步，我停了。

没有人该告诉我该怎么走。

时间过得很慢吗？那就看漫画打发时间吧。

时间过的太快吗？那赶紧把重要的事情搞定吧。

我的世界。我向我自己招招手，你为什麽要在意？

Give me a kiss =)

最后一眼

很想念的。很熟悉的。

偶尔的，会往后看一看以前的那个自己。

在某个角落。让人怀念。还会回头看的。

原来那个感觉还在。当我回头看的时候，好像回到了那个当时。

炎亚纶的新歌，是这样唱的：

“雨中 回头交换最后一眼
美好故事变丑之前 用 爱写下句点
隔着街 远远的最后一眼
各自去新的世界
不会连络可是永远 会想念”

没错，我们已经不再联络。

可是在偶然的偶尔下，我们还是会想念。可能是到永远永远吧。

日子过得很平静。

感谢自己没再期待那么多。

我在忙碌的过日子时，他在轻松的度假。

习惯了，就会觉得，简单，真的很幸福。

“隔着眼泪 远远的最后一眼
过不去的那些纠结
都被离别火化湮灭
剩微酸 剩怀念。。。”

慢慢

Thanks to the newspaper and Internet. I get to know what had happened in other world.

时间慢慢的过，人生很快很快的走。

好像是昨天才看到报纸登大新闻说大S和她的小白结婚了，过后也看到侯佩岑也出嫁给个富豪了。现在，范范和黑人终于结婚了，而孙燕姿也在同一天嫁出去了。喜事连连啊，那个娱乐圈里。

一个人的时候，时间会莫名的过得很慢，因为没有人跟你聊天吗？

两个人的时候，假设没有聊天对话，时间也是慢慢的在数一数二，因为之间的空气被寂寞占据了。

我现在，喜欢张靓颖唱的“错就错”。有些人，真的，在他选择要离开时，或是离开了之后，你才会发现，你真的是大错特错的犯错。

不是因为你已经离开我了。也不是因为你要离开我了。

我还选择爱你的。而你也选择爱我的。不是吗？

我们两个人没有承诺对方什麽。我们只是，每天的每天里，陪着对方。

慢慢的，我们会一起度过我们的十年。

慢慢的，我会变成你的身体的一部分。

慢慢的，你会占据我心里的每一个角落。

慢慢，慢慢的。我很高兴我们还是一样对对方傻笑，而不是另一方。

慢慢的，我想你也知道爱你的那个人，永远是我。

慢慢来吗？

不对，是慢慢的。爱你。

還有眼淚就好

如果我能忍住不哭，假裝我什麼也不知道
你會不會停留，直到我能用力微笑
如果我不期待擁抱，好讓你放心走得輕巧
你能不能回頭，（勉為其難）對我安慰，不要~ 自找~ 煩惱

難道愛情虛有其表，還是太認真才輸掉
想不開就不想，得不到就不要
誰說分手不曾預料，只有走得慢點就好，
不要天荒地老，只有哭到睡著。


如果我不期望回報，承認感情從來沒公道
你會不會後悔，你把我拋棄得太早，
如果我縱容你選擇，還為你幸福大聲祈禱，
你會不會聽到 我在內心輕輕求饒
不要 太快 逃跑。

難道愛情虛有其表 ，還是太認真才輸掉
想不開就不想，得不到就不要
誰說分手不曾預料，只有走得慢點就好，
不要天荒地老，只有哭到睡著。
晚了，別鬧。

很多道理我都知道，流完淚水就能做到
想不開就不想，得不到就不要
誰說分手不曾預料，只要好來好去就好。
不要哭得太吵，否則怎能睡著，
只要還有眼淚就好～～～

我们说好的 - 張靚穎

好嗎 一句話就哽住了喉
城市 當背景的海市蜃樓
我們 像分隔着一整個宇宙
再見 都化作烏有

我們說好絕不放開相互牽的手
可現實說光有愛還不夠
走到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我們都倔強得不曾回頭

我們說好就算分開一樣做朋友
時間說我們從此不可能再問候
人群中再次邂逅
你變得那麽瘦
我還是淪陷在你的眼眸

我們說好一起老去看細水長流
卻将會成爲别人的某某
又到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我們都強忍着不曾回頭

我們說好下個永恒裏面再碰頭
愛情會活在時光節節敗退後
下一次如果邂逅
你别再那麽瘦
我想一直淪陷在你的眼眸
（這是無可救藥愛情的荒謬）

说谎

当一个人说谎。被伤害的人，除了是被骗的那个对方，受了伤的也是自己。

当我哭着闹着要你离开的时候。当你把你的行李一个一个的搬进车子里的时候。你后悔的，是什麽？

你说，是因为贪玩，所以才这样的。你说你也不懂为什麽自己会这样的。

另外一个世界里，有人很幸福。而我，在跟幸福插身而过吗？

我从来没有想过，离开你的我会变得怎样。我也跟你说过，以后你不再的时候，我要去哪里？

我要去哪里？

我，要去哪里？

我，真的，应该去哪里？

我不是在爱里迷失了方向；而是在没人爱的时候，迷失了方向。

我不恨自己爱过你。我恨的是我爱你，爱过了头。

我想我会没事的。当我很了不起的说，没有你我可以过得更好的时候。

我说谎了。

不自由

当一个曾经很爱很爱你的人，你很爱很爱的人离开你，过后的世界，是怎样的？

我们是那么的近，却是那么的远。

看的那么近，心却痛的无比。

发生了很多事，我才发现到，原来当自己真的是难过得不能呼吸的时候，我是无处可去的。难怪，在这种时候，我只想回家。

是什麽时候开始的，有了密码，我都没得进去你的世界了？

是什麽时候开始的，我们变成了两个人，不是一个人？

各做各的，这一次，真的是各做各的了。

没有了信任，我到底该如何再爱你。

原来，我被困住了。

原来，我根本就不自由。

难怪，你可以连续几天都不用问我过得好不好。不告诉我你自己过的好不好。因为你过的很好，再也不需要我的陪伴，我的干扰。

是什麽时候开始的，你再也不需要我了？

这次，我真的懂了，你是会变的。

而我，那个爱你的我，从此不再自由了。

再也，感觉不到快乐了。

You're on Your Own

长大

我觉得很热。在那同时，我觉得很静。静得，有点闷。

我想，我应该停止那个游戏。也许是因为自己的对你的忽略，所以到最后变成我怪你在犯错。或许，打从一开始，你就没有要那么做的贪念。可是因为我，我自己所犯的错，导致你变成这个样子。

我们都错了。可是说对不起的那个，好像就只有你。

现在，自己变成这个样子，我也不知道还能不能说是你害的。我有什麽资格说是你害的？当从一开始，犯错的那个人，就是我自己的时候？

变成这个样子，会不会，生了什麽病来？

知道吗？我不想就这样放弃。








当没有人可以救你的时候，慢慢的自己站起来，其实是一个过程，告诉你，你长大了。

I thought the sky is Blue.

心情，不见了。

要怎样找回那个热情？我真的有股冲动想email Ellis，问她到底要怎样，我才会重新爱上我的工作。

郁闷。

是什麽时候开始觉的很无聊。

无聊中的无聊，我真的很厌这个生活。

那天爸比突然问：“by,你有什麽可以赚百万的天分？” 因为我听着神木与瞳的歌，他说他们是找到了自己的天分，所以就用自己的天分来赚百万，那我们呢？爸比也说，每个人都有自己的天分的。 爸比说，他也是还在寻找着。

那天，好听也问我，那你的梦想是什麽？我说我不知道，我知道我想环游世界，可我说那不是梦想啊。因为总觉的那是个没有前途的梦想。

我的百万天分？我的梦想？

Hey, I thought the sky is blue.

I thought am gonna lov it when the sky is blue. But today, I felt a bit down.

What happen to me?

The Phone

Exhausted.

Flight had landed safely, but poorly. Which, almost scared me and caused me to heart attack. I wondered how other felt in that one minutes. The pilot himself should have felt it too. When the flight landed in that "proper" but skill-less way.

What did the baby felt? The one the mother carry tightly and gently in her arms when he's asleep? How did the old man feels? The one that sat behind of me. I cursed the pilot a bit, and cursed on Air Asia more. One thing is because of the flight-delay that often occur, second is the landing skill that is too "professional"! In a minutes I understand how does it feels if the plane crash and am dead inside been bury alive.

Life had been a little emo these few days.

Vacations is not a vacations.

Hypertension. I read it on the magazine left on the chair. I guess I have one. This, uncontrollable and unexpected disease. As I easily feel nervous, with heart pouding so fast I feel like could not breathe well in a second. Nelson said, maybe you have heart problem. What is that suppose to mean? He said maybe something like heart attack. Yes it will happen, even if is in this very young age nowadays.

The phone is ringing. The ring-tone keep on beeping. And the music is repeating.

The laugh and the tears had past.

The only thing I felt terribly sorry was because I'd lied.

First time in my life, I'd lied to 5 persons in, just a day.

The worst is, I broke my promises.

I shouldn't have promise them. And this is a so-mean Rose that appear only once in a while. With silence, with tears, with grief, with guilty, with regret....unforgivable. Apologize is no use at all, when he believed that I was facing with some kind of family crisis which force me to cancel my vacation and fly back home instantly, which is not, true. Is no use at all, I guess I will feel the guiltiness forever for the rest of my life, as I lied to the people who love me. And I had disappointed them and hurts them.

I did not mean to.

He called. He text-ed. He begged me, to call my mum again. I have no more persuasive word to express. What I left is my tears. And hell no, I can't stop it from dropping silently, on my lap. Wet up my face.

Gastric here. Shit. Pain.

Every mistake made, there's a lesson to be learn.

I won't repeat what I'd done to myself. No. No way. To let myself down like this, tired like this, and speechless like this.

I guess the wrong thing is that I choose to silent. Maybe I really should have talk face-to-face with her. But what done is done. There's no point to recall back. This is how I live my life. No points. Really. If this meant to change, perhaps both of us should. There's something we should aware of, but sometimes it seems like the happiness had cover it all and left us......brainlessly done something regret us with tears.

No points to recall back.

The phone is ringing. Phone calls from different parties. I even have to call to different people to explain the situation. Sound like an operator or a counselor. And it makes me with a sudden thinking-mind, told myself that, maybe I should switch my job. Learning something like, become a counselor? Ridiculous.

What use with maturity, when the one that you're dealing with did not understand your words? No use to force, no use to emphasize. When they're deaf, they really are. That is what I always say to mum. No use to repeat and waste your time, and saliva. They will change if they have the initial to. They would, even if is after the very first minutes you told them to.

Some one loves you that much. I thought you knew it.

I don't understand what is the fighting point between you and him. Why not talk to each other nicely and properly instead of yelling and forcing the other to listen to your words? One of you should step back, while the other should have calm down first before speaking is starts.I guess he did not expected that you will forgive him. And I do too, believe that you too won't have, even a piece of mind about, forgiving him. But there's one thing I know for sure.

He can't let go yet. Why? Think back why is this kind of situation usually will happen? Because they love you. They don't know how to lose you. They never think of losing you. So? So, they can't accept the fact that you're gone, and now that you're in a another affair or relationship.

Time will heal.

I said.

That's all I could say. I'm an outsider, so I won't comment so much.

Sometimes, it had to depends on yourself, to change, from bad to good.

I was bad too. Bad in, delivering the words in my heart especially when I was too depressed. Which was worse, when I dont even speak of the words that I should have to.

I. am. Terribly. Sorry.

Selfish Gal

If you give me another chance, I will never, ever go with you again.

Honestly say, this is the worst trip I'd ever been. The worse of worse which make me want to go home instantly. And I rather waste all my money for all the tickets-booking than wait here or go to shopping tomorrow with you.

Honestly is like a bullshit and this bullshit is really hard to clear.

I will never ever looking forward to have another chance to go travelling with you.

Never Ever.

All I need

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

病猫。

我是生病的猫。神经质到无可救药的猫。我说。我向全世界说。

如果你真的爱我，你就不会这样对我。我说。我对你说。

我讨厌今年的情人节。我讨厌明天的愚人节。

若一切能从来，我真的希望，今年没有庆祝情人节。

被耍的情人节。被伤透了的情人节。

问我，你好吗？

我很好。可是心不好。这时要怎么答？

胸口很闷。当你让我一个人哭的时候。当你不理会我的时候。当你装着不知道的时候。

我要的只是多一点的关心，就那么一点点的安慰，这样你都做不到吗？ 倒床后就呼呼大睡的混蛋。

要的只是个解释，要的只是个对不起，有那么难吗？

我很讨厌这样的自己。我从来都没有这样会吃醋，而且还是乱吃醋。

喂，外面的花枯了。

我说下个月我要搬出去了，你只是问，搬去哪里。而不是问为什麽要搬？

虽然说的是谎话，可是你连这个谎话都不在乎的样子。

我根本就没有找到什麽新的屋子，更别说是下个月尾会真的搬出去。我只是希望你多一点关心，问问到底怎么了。

说好了的幸福呢？那首我恨透了的歌，现在既然突然飘进我脑海里。

我坏掉了。

我真的很讨厌你，为什麽要这样？

真的很过分的，为什麽要这样？

真的不能呼吸，为什麽要这样？

真的，要死掉了的感觉。。。。。。你为什麽要这样？

老大

老大，我很开心。
开心因为不管你再怎么忙，最后你还是会回应我的信息。

老大，我很开心。
开心虽然下个月没办法见面，你还是期待跟我有天会见面。
你跟我说对不起因为你不能回来。还很有心的说假设我没有地方好住，别忘了通知你一声，你可以帮我搞定。你更是说，要干爸请客，让我去台湾一趟。

老大，我很开心。
开心虽然你都知道我有男朋友了，可是你不但没有生气，还继续跟我做朋友。

老大，我很开心。
开心因为你不停的上载你的相片，告诉我你在那里的生活是怎样的。也像习惯一样，我们用相片跟对方继续分享。

老大，我很开心。
开心因为就算话题都聊完了，谁都不想停止，继续讲无聊的话，继续向对方问好，继续互相给劝告与鼓励，继续知道对方的存在。

老大，我很开心。
开心你就算不喜欢拍照，你还是拍了自己的样子，让我知道你现在是长什麽样子，以前又是长什麽样子。

老大，我很开心。
因为你允许我叫你老大。不用怕，以后的大嫂，我会很尊敬她的。

老大，我们的缘分，你给它打分数了吗？

In God's Heart

A room of Quiet
a temple of peace;
A home of Faith
where doubtings cease;
A house of Comfort
where hope is given;
A source of Strength
to make earth heaven;
A shrine of Worship
a place to pray
I found all this
in God's heart today.

无题8

很久以前拍的照片。在一间小学后面。偶然的经过。偶然的拍下。

The Boyfriend -Thingy - Thing

Life is like, go to work/go to sleep/go for shower/go to cook - the same routine every day.

There's some one who, I don't wish to see/meet(even if it is accidentally). There is, too, some one who I wish deadly, deeply, desperately could meet(even if is by accidentally or intentionally). While there is, some one who comes by surprise; while other might comes and screw up your mood.

I received email on Facebook from Raymond this morning. This is a surprise. Not a so-very-surprise surprise; as it's like usual, he just wants to say hi.

I did, too, received a note from a customer this afternoon. THIS is a stupid surprise. Which - very very annoying and irritating !!! I knew he had been watching me ever since he steps into MPH. He did it all the time and every one of my staffs know his intention when he came to MPH. They said :"untuk jumpa Rose".

THIS IS NOT A GOOD NEWS. AT ALL.

There's a customer who invited me out for drinks and lunch. And even if now he's already engaged and going to get marry in May, he still asked me about my boyfriend. "So, how's your boyfriend?" "When are you and your boyfriend getting married?" "Are you still with your boyfriend?"...bla bla bla...

And Raymond too, asked the-almost-same question. "No dating with your boyfriend?" "No going out with your boyfriend?"...bla bla bla...

And today. This in-sane customer(sorry to be so rude), kept on turn around and around and around for almost 4 hours in MPH, suddenly approached to customer service counter and asked :" Do you happen to go to Catholic Church?" I said :"No!"(with very very annoyed tone) and let him left without even look at him. After about...don't know how many minutes past, he came again. This time not alone, he brought a piece of paper with him. And hand it to me. I thought it was some kind of note which he wrote title on it, so I could help to search book for him. BUT is NOT.

The paper wrote : " I am actually quite embarassed to ask, but can I add you on Facebook or get your number?"

GOODNESS HEAVEN !! This is S**T!!

Go ahead and add me. But I will never, ever gonna confirm you as one of my friend. Am not interested and you're really S**K!!

Why don't you all leave me alone and stop asking about me & my boyfriend or my status. Why should you care am I single or not or marry or not or free or not???

I hate customer approached not because of book but because of me. Go F**k Off yourself ! DAMN !

Doctor in The House

Wow, the picture is on the THE STAR Newspaper today. And my name's on it too.

=）

The Song

同步呼吸 - 萧亚轩

“突然地　身邊多了你　煩惱總變成驚奇
孤單吃飯變成兩人套餐甜蜜
討厭的下雨　卻開心貼你躲雨
猴嗨森　喜歡的影集　你不會偷看一集
總會和我一起欣賞著結局
我嘆氣　我想你的心都結成冰

愛同步就有種魔力　愛同步就沒有當機
　愛同步就是種感應　愛如快閃就不必回憶

同步呼吸 愛情真的要命
　一個KISSING 甜蜜吸同口氣
　命運或注定 讓我遇見你
　LOVE 不過是種默契

　同步呼吸 聽說有種幸運
　不管天雨天晴 空氣佈滿星星
　就情不自禁 就鼓起勇氣
　LOVE 說出我愛你＃

上傳著心情　你都同時感應
下次旅行就要兩人成行才行
走在大街　呼吸相同的空氣
幸福的精品　是什麼無法比擬

是你給我的愛情　
相同的興趣　相同的表情

哪天我們都白頭　哪天記憶再回播
我們還會再同步走　還同步呼吸著
有你　不怕亂亂走　有你　愛都是值得
有你　跟我同步走　都不放手”

每一次想到你，天晴的心情，就犹如这首歌般。每一次听到这首歌，心里哼着的心情，跟想着你的心情联系起来，等于无比的快乐。现在听到这首歌，还是一样会想到你。

只是，寂寞了。

There's number on my notification. Indicated that there's new notifications that I have yet read. I used to like it, when I saw there's number on it whenever I online in facebook. But not anymore.

Seems to be disappear like vanish into the air without you even notice it did.

Disappointed and sadness show. Every time I have no news about you.

It is, too bad.

The Life

Today was the second day. I drive my car. Yesterday, daddy's there with me, pointing out the error that I'd made.

Today, I drive alone. I guess I did, accidentally make some mistake. But daddy was not there to nag on me(Was it good or bad? - I take both). Good thing is, I don't have to feel more nervous as every time he points out my mistake while am driving, it will increase my tension. Bad thing is, it is dangerous. You're driving gal, not walking, and there's rules to be obey, okay?

Plan to go Kelantan will not change. Even though I still have yet think of any reason(or excuses) to tell mum that I'm going to Kelantan(she will, definitely will say that am wasting money again). I am wasting money, I know. But I can't help it. As I can't stay in Kuching forever without going out, it's killing me. The boredom. You should have know that. And I think you do know that, mum.

Plan that change is that, Nelson ain't coming back. Not until the end of April. Haiz.....

Dr Mahathir was launching his latest new book yesterday, entitled Dr In The House. Early in the morning, once I opened the store, there's a call directly, a customer to asked about this book. Then, the first customer that walked into the store, became the first customer who bought this RM100.00 Dr In The House. The book is about his memoir, biography. Very thick. And heavy. The first customer even took a picture of me, while I was busy displaying the book on shelve. And today, journalist for THE STAR newspaper, came and interviewed me(as MR Georgina, the outlet head is unavailable) and questioned me about the book. How many had sold out, how many stock do we have in store, what was my name and position in store. And she even took a picture of the window display that I had pointed to her(which, Luckily I'd done it perfectly yesterday - and she found it interesting - I guess the window display was attractive enough,hehe...) and am so proud of myself. Wee....!!

Good news is, this Dr In The House had increased our sale in normal day(normal = no event/no school holidays/no weekend-day). Am too, kind of interested to have a look in this book. And I definitely will borrow this book home tomorrow(after I finished The Killing Place). Hmm...talked about this The Killing Place, it really is killing me in the dark(scary enough until I don't dare to switch off the light on the first day I read it - daddy's home as his auntie was sick, and am all alone in hostel); the story is very very very interesting and bone-chilling, it forced you to turn on another page to page and you will not realized that the time had passed so fast, and you don't even realized that you had been yawning sleepily for more than ten times. Tess Gerritsen is another cool author that I found out lately beside Sidney Sheldon.

This, is the best thing for you, who work in the bookstore, MPH Bookstore, I mean.

Yeah, MPH Bookstore. We are not POPULAR bookstore. I kinda hate it when people walked into our Bookstore and started to compared MPH with POPULAR. But guess what, Dr In The House, we are the one that release and sell the book first. And this, really make me proud of MPH. I even more hate it when customer approached to request for book, but then end up does not want to buy just because he said in POPULAR there will be 10% discount. Come on lah, if you already know that we don't give 10% off, then why are you still here? Stepping into MPH? Bodoh punyai Ka Na Sai.

Okay, sorry again. As I always blew out all my fire in my blog.

Time is 12.19pm now. Am not going to sleep. I have few more chapters to continue. Must finish it today, so I could borrow Dr In the House tomorrow.

Good Luck to me, and you too.

叮噹-很愛過

謝謝你從來沒有覺得我不夠好
謝謝你守護我的每一分每一秒
謝謝當天塌下來 你也會幫我頂著
冰的固執 水才會懂

終於讓時間回過頭來笑我們傻
但暴雨都要淋過才能逼得人成長
沒有地久沒有天長 沒有最美的花
只有遺忘 能讓眼淚流光

很愛過 很痛過 我們為了彼此而活過
你愛我 擁抱著我 卻讓我看不見星空
我們都 沒有錯 沒有誰比較寂寞
我的世界早已經不是以前

也許以後再也沒人比你更愛我
也許以後我也不可能在那樣活
每當想起你的時候 快樂都比較多
也許快樂 是時間的幽默

多少天 多少夜 愛一個人很難 愛自己更難
清晨醒來所有美夢都不見

如果

早上醒来的时候，大部分时候，他都已经上班了。我是一个人。

如果，他走了。我早上醒来时，也是一个人。

中午才上班的话，早上我一定是九点就起床。

如果，他走了。我也是一样，九点起床，准备午餐，还有便当，去上中午的班。

不同的是，不用留饭还有菜给他。

不同的是，晚上回家，没有人等我。

不同的是，以后以后的每一个晚上，我会睡得着吗？

有的问题我就是想了又想。虽然都知道答案了。

有点贪心。有点自私。我不喜欢一个人。

是贪心。以后，会后悔吗？

Perfect

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

by... PINK!

一半

I almost sing this song after what had happened last Saturday night & Sunday Morning. But luckily I did not. He almost left me. Packed all his belongings and step out the doorway. Want me to take care of myself and give me a last embrace.

Everything happen in a blink of eyes. And the eight years that we spent together, will gone.

But， fortunately. It did not happen. I can't stand it, if he leave.

He sang this song every time the radio put it on. He likes it very much. I asked him, are you heart broken or something. No. He said.

Because of him. I like the song too.

I almost hate 'cause of celebrating Valentine's this year. We never had celebrated Valentine's even though we had been together for, eight years. Yeah, on the eighth year only we celebrated, had a one day vacation, out to the beach. And I almost blamed for celebrating it, is like a curse, which almost break us up.

Again, fortunately. It did not happen. He should not leave me. We love each other more than anyone else.

Hear the song, it sounds like this :

喝酒的伴 一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴 一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活 只差那个人就美满
快乐剩一人分享 快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单 这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单
没有想法 有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了 心里的遗憾
没有负担 原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我 那要不要跟我交换
快乐剩一人分享 快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单 这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享 幸福就只剩一半
别来提醒 我多孤单
快乐剩一人分享 快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单 这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
没人知道我多孤单

If you left me. I probably will die. For a day? A month? Maybe a year.
I don't know how long I will stand up again. I told Nelson : “我想我有一段时间站不起来吧。” And that's true.

We talked about marriage. Talked about kids. Talked about future.

And I don't want anyone, who's out of this, to disturb and destroy us.

And if you leave, then I will be half, imperfect, incomplete.

Just as you said : “没有你，就没有我。”

Plan Ahead

Have you ever heard of anything like, plan first before action's taken?

Okay. I have that kind of habit, since I was...errr...can't remember when is the exact date or month or year. But I know I did. Maybe is because I'm the nervous type, or the timid type. So before anything goes wrong, why not I get myself prepare first?

So here, I. Am.

Planning to go Kelantan in April. And, decide to meet someone(in which, this "someone" include a lot of people). First comes first, of course is Cindy. Second, Pauline sis or Mr. Lee(should have pay them a visit since I might have drop by in KL,right?) Third, is Nelson(he said he's coming back, to settle something - he said that a long long time ago but has yet give me any accurate timing so I could plan out properly on my schedule).

But guess what?

Purchasing new car is in process. Once I pay the money and submit all the documents, and sign the paper. AHAH! The Saga will be mine =). Yet, there's a tiny little problem as I lost my latest payslip, which I just received it few days ago and then I lost it a few hours later after I open it. And this tiny little problem had lead to a big trouble, as they need the latest payslip. OMG!! What should I do next? Everything can be fix. Like, my driving license had expired, I would only have to go to Post Office and renew it; they want my EPF statement, then I could just go to the machine with my IC and thumb would have settle and print out one ....except for this one, the stupidity of losing(by me)the payslip >.
Booking air ticket to KL - Kelantan is in process too. Except for, I don't want to use credit card to book my tickets. As it will charges me another RM12.00(which I could use to buy myself some KFC or McD). So am still waiting, for Daddy, to be free and drive me to CIMB bank in order to register my CIMB clicks! And here's another secret..shh....I don't have enough money to travel actually.Hahahaha....but who cares? All I have to do is pack my face cleansing/toner/lotion, sandals, e-book, pants,shirts and pyjamas(or maybe some comics for Cindy), then I'm on my way. Weeeee.......!!!! Oh, don't forget to put RM50? or maybe RM100? in your pockets.Hehehe...

So again, PRAY for GOD, everything will be fine. AMEN =)

Morning, Noon & Night

I was reading a book written by a dead fellow who used to be very famous. He was dead in 2007. At first, I thought "he" was a woman as "he" has a female-type name, Sidney Sheldon. But I was wrong.

I was weeping like hell yesterday. And before I fell in sleep, my eyes had looked like a goldfish. And that did not disappeared even after I awoke this morning, I still looked a like terrible goldfish.Something bad is happening. It was happening.

I decided to read at least two books in a month(as I always don't have time to touch any book for the last few months - work make me exhausted and have only a few minutes left to online before I crawl into my bed), and I did, successfully. I read more than two copies of books this month(exclude the comic and magazine, if you wanna know).

Life had been the same. But something happened last night which, almost, broke me into half. And the next morning, I would loss one of my wings.

....*speechless* I don't feel want to recall it back.

I always wish for a better tomorrow.

And I finally understand, why the rain is here this couples of days. It was here because of me. And when everything is fine back, the sun appear. How strange, isn't it?

I was excited. Very excited a few days ago. As me & mum had finalize, when to get the money and buy the car. My car. My new car. Brother said and insisted I should go for a second hand car instead of shop for a brand new one. But, hey, what the hell. The price is almost the same and I'm the one that do all the paying. So why should you care so much that in the end the car might probably back to shop as I cant afford to pay it?

Another thing I was really excited about is, Cindy. Thinking back all those days when she's back, and we'd planned to go somewhere but then is all because of the transport, we end up, missed the change to go shopping together, meet and have drinks together.....all these will soon gone once I have my car. I could drive her to where ever we want to.Thrill !!!!! Isn't it? So I will have to practice more(as it had been a while I didn't grab the starring and drive, it makes me nervous a bit) since then and make sure I really could drive her here and there when she's home, to Kuching =)

Aunt Euralia had back to the nun's house. I should have visit her today. But then, the accident, caused to I did not. I felt guilty & sorry for her as I'd promised her I will visit her again whenever am free. And now that am free, but I sit at home and reading.

Mum's worried about me. About the car. About the traffic. She said be careful, drive slow and, DON'T drive when it is a raining day.I know I have to be careful. It had been....hmm...one year, I don't drive. Daddy's worried about me too.

But, it's okay. Everything will be fine. It will, be fine.

我的情人节。