If only I know how. To draw. To sketch your face.
Then I will.
Sketch everyone that I wish I will never forget. Someone who comes a minute and left the other minute. But still make me feel good and smile.
If only I could.
If only I know how to sketch. I will sketch your face, and leave the most perfect portrait of yours in my sketch book. Because I can't keep you always in my memory. Whenever I'm tired, I might forget you.
How I wish.
How I could, sketch your face perfectly.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The Boy
I met the boy last night. When I was off-duty and was about to go home. Was queuing up to pay my parking coupon, and then he came.
Can I said this is the first time I saw him without his formal wear? Yes, I guess. as I can't remember the very first time we meet. When he came and look for a part-time job in MPH. When I can't hire him as there is no more vacancy.
Well. I don't know. Maybe it was only my feeling.
I can feel that he tried to look over here. Over me.
Gd night. Gd Day =)
Can I said this is the first time I saw him without his formal wear? Yes, I guess. as I can't remember the very first time we meet. When he came and look for a part-time job in MPH. When I can't hire him as there is no more vacancy.
Well. I don't know. Maybe it was only my feeling.
I can feel that he tried to look over here. Over me.
Gd night. Gd Day =)
Monday, October 28, 2013
28th October 2013
Today was the day I reported back to work after 1 week Unpaid Leave, just because of staying back home to do my assignment. Even though is worth it, I still kind of hate it because I make no money within the whole week.
So far nothing bad news received from my colleague, so I'm blessed as there is nothing that would stress me out again.
Last week I spent my day key-in and key-in and key-in all data in the SPSS system, even though I was kinda fast, yet still I felt pain in my butt for sitting too long.
I attended Prom night with my friends from SEGI College. Been to K-box twice(once with BF, second time with BFF), sing out loud and cried at the same time, is the stress that I had collected all this while I believed. And been for Steamboat and ate too much prawn and crabs. I know it is high in cholesterol, but I can't help myself, it had been a while I don't eat it. Cooked Kachangma at home with mummy. And shopping with mummy in Serian.
Gambateh as life keep going on. I will be strong. Daddy please stand by side always. I love you.
Next month is mama's birthday, do you remember?
So far nothing bad news received from my colleague, so I'm blessed as there is nothing that would stress me out again.
Last week I spent my day key-in and key-in and key-in all data in the SPSS system, even though I was kinda fast, yet still I felt pain in my butt for sitting too long.
I attended Prom night with my friends from SEGI College. Been to K-box twice(once with BF, second time with BFF), sing out loud and cried at the same time, is the stress that I had collected all this while I believed. And been for Steamboat and ate too much prawn and crabs. I know it is high in cholesterol, but I can't help myself, it had been a while I don't eat it. Cooked Kachangma at home with mummy. And shopping with mummy in Serian.
Gambateh as life keep going on. I will be strong. Daddy please stand by side always. I love you.
Next month is mama's birthday, do you remember?
Sunday, October 27, 2013
我们都可以很美
我从来不知道，女人手上得装饰品有多重要。搭配得对不对，也反映出你个什么样的
人。
那天是我第一次跟同学参加大学举办的晚会。而全场里面只有我一个女生选择穿裤
子。
是有点尴尬没错，在那同时也不是什么所谓，因为一直以来，我就是常唱反调的人
啊。而且，当晚也让自己 变得更特别了。
那张照片，真的很感激丽敏把当时的我拍下来了。我看了很满意。真的，第一次觉
得，自然就真的是很美。
谢谢你。
也谢谢，那天心血来潮跑去富利华随便乱逛时，被自己找到的那个首饰，是比想象
中贵了一点点。可是，值得。
人。
那天是我第一次跟同学参加大学举办的晚会。而全场里面只有我一个女生选择穿裤
子。
是有点尴尬没错，在那同时也不是什么所谓，因为一直以来，我就是常唱反调的人
啊。而且，当晚也让自己 变得更特别了。
那张照片，真的很感激丽敏把当时的我拍下来了。我看了很满意。真的，第一次觉
得，自然就真的是很美。
谢谢你。
也谢谢，那天心血来潮跑去富利华随便乱逛时，被自己找到的那个首饰，是比想象
中贵了一点点。可是，值得。
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Yellow Power Ranger
Tommy and Rock came to MPH today.
He's yellow and he smiled.
They asked a lot of questions.
And he asked where do I'm actually from?
And I was thinking "are you, trying to starts digging about my personal details?"
Well, at least I felt good about that. Because you only seems to dare to talk to me when someone else who is with you, talk a lot with me.
He's yellow and he smiled.
They asked a lot of questions.
And he asked where do I'm actually from?
And I was thinking "are you, trying to starts digging about my personal details?"
Well, at least I felt good about that. Because you only seems to dare to talk to me when someone else who is with you, talk a lot with me.
Father's Day 16.06.2013
Hey, is Father's Day today.
I'm errrmm....hardly have anything to say.
I'm just a bit upset.
I know is Father's Day today. I know it, again. Like last year, like last time, like before. Is like, I always know it. And most of the time I just pretend that I miss it, I forget about it, or I was too busy to know that now it is the day.
Is not something to remember, or celebrate. For someone like me.
It's just not for me to remember. And today I felt more upset than usual. I felt more lonely than before. Especially when I log-in in my FB acc. When some friends post those comments. When friends wish Happy Father's Day to their beloved father. When they took pictures together. When they ate together for celebration. When they bought gifts for their father. And...when I sat in the cafe, and the woman next table, hand-in ang-pow for her father...
It's just, don't feel right for me.
Maybe I'm jealous.
Or maybe I just don't get it. Maybe forever and ever, I won't know how is that feel, to say Happy Father's Day, because he's gone.
And seriously I'm sorry, because I purposely don't want to wish any to Daddy Lee. Maybe is because he's not my real dad. Or maybe is because not matter how he's good in treating me as his god-daughter, or how close we are, he is, still, not my real dad. And there's always is, and invisible gap between us, that remind me that, "hey, this is not your dad, okay, he's Jamie's beloved daddy".
So I purposely forget about it. So I purposely left without say anything and report to work instantly.
Yet, I post it in the end, saying " Happy Father's Day" to him. I know he's happy, because he always will, he has beautiful family. They are complete and perfect, who won't happy in that family?
I'm just, lonely, on this day.
Just that. And is hard to explain.
And I'd cried.
And I know, I miss him. And I love him.
I'm errrmm....hardly have anything to say.
I'm just a bit upset.
I know is Father's Day today. I know it, again. Like last year, like last time, like before. Is like, I always know it. And most of the time I just pretend that I miss it, I forget about it, or I was too busy to know that now it is the day.
Is not something to remember, or celebrate. For someone like me.
It's just not for me to remember. And today I felt more upset than usual. I felt more lonely than before. Especially when I log-in in my FB acc. When some friends post those comments. When friends wish Happy Father's Day to their beloved father. When they took pictures together. When they ate together for celebration. When they bought gifts for their father. And...when I sat in the cafe, and the woman next table, hand-in ang-pow for her father...
It's just, don't feel right for me.
Maybe I'm jealous.
Or maybe I just don't get it. Maybe forever and ever, I won't know how is that feel, to say Happy Father's Day, because he's gone.
And seriously I'm sorry, because I purposely don't want to wish any to Daddy Lee. Maybe is because he's not my real dad. Or maybe is because not matter how he's good in treating me as his god-daughter, or how close we are, he is, still, not my real dad. And there's always is, and invisible gap between us, that remind me that, "hey, this is not your dad, okay, he's Jamie's beloved daddy".
So I purposely forget about it. So I purposely left without say anything and report to work instantly.
Yet, I post it in the end, saying " Happy Father's Day" to him. I know he's happy, because he always will, he has beautiful family. They are complete and perfect, who won't happy in that family?
I'm just, lonely, on this day.
Just that. And is hard to explain.
And I'd cried.
And I know, I miss him. And I love him.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
心事
我们，身边总会有那么一个重要的人，除了家人以外的，那个人。
难免的，他有本事让你笑，让你哭，让你疼，让你操心。所以你更是明白，他是多
么的重要。
她也遇见了，我真心的祝福。我相信他，所以也相信了她，这次一定会因为这个男
人而改变，然后，好好的，更爱自己。这次，她终于等到了，终于找到了。
姐姐好像很期待我有心事就跟她说。可怎么办呢？我一向以来有事自己承担，甚至
连别人的事我也跟着承担但却从不让人操心的，要怎么把心事说给她听呢？我啊，
可是心事都往肚子里吞了，吞了后就算了，所以第二天就没事了，要怎么办呢？
姐，我没事啊。真的没事。
我们都长大了。那时候的我们，这时候的我们，我明白的，当你不再说心事了。因
为不是所有事都是说说了就好了。要加油啊。
难免的，他有本事让你笑，让你哭，让你疼，让你操心。所以你更是明白，他是多
么的重要。
她也遇见了，我真心的祝福。我相信他，所以也相信了她，这次一定会因为这个男
人而改变，然后，好好的，更爱自己。这次，她终于等到了，终于找到了。
姐姐好像很期待我有心事就跟她说。可怎么办呢？我一向以来有事自己承担，甚至
连别人的事我也跟着承担但却从不让人操心的，要怎么把心事说给她听呢？我啊，
可是心事都往肚子里吞了，吞了后就算了，所以第二天就没事了，要怎么办呢？
姐，我没事啊。真的没事。
我们都长大了。那时候的我们，这时候的我们，我明白的，当你不再说心事了。因
为不是所有事都是说说了就好了。要加油啊。
Lose Control
你说：“你可以不要这样子讲话吗？话可以好好讲，为什么要这样讲呢？”
情人吵架是 正常的，他们说。可是像我们这种，一个月才吵一次的，不然是完全没
有吵的，那个气一来，可不简单啊。
我感觉到了。现在不一样了。你顶嘴的时候，会失控了。或许该说，你终于露出真
面目了。或许是说，我活该，因为你再也不想忍我的臭脾气了。可是问一问你自己，
我只有在什么时候才用如此疯狂的言语啊？
我都叫你出去了，是你不出去的。所以我出去了。我说我不回来了。你既然电话也
不打，我回来后你既然什么都不问。那你说，我能不生气吗？女人要哄的。
本想说回来就跟你和好，可是看到你那一副不在乎的样子，我就算了，反正我死我
活，对你而言也没差。所以我嘴巴硬了。
I know I had used harsh words against you. Not so hard, is not a bad word anyway. Just the tone is like, insulting? Ha!
“你吃饱了吗？”
“当然吃饱啦，不然等你来喂吗？”
And thats, the conversation that made you walked away...........to take shower instead!
Then I changed my tone, into more lady-like and sweet.
“我吃饱了，我一个人吃。” I said. Which is more insulting. And that was purposely.
That makes you stepped out of the door. Hahaha...
"Whatever." I murmured.
I'm rude. But is better than you ! Who turn your back on me, and watch me leave, JUST. LIKE.THAT.
FUCK YOU!
情人吵架是 正常的，他们说。可是像我们这种，一个月才吵一次的，不然是完全没
有吵的，那个气一来，可不简单啊。
我感觉到了。现在不一样了。你顶嘴的时候，会失控了。或许该说，你终于露出真
面目了。或许是说，我活该，因为你再也不想忍我的臭脾气了。可是问一问你自己，
我只有在什么时候才用如此疯狂的言语啊？
我都叫你出去了，是你不出去的。所以我出去了。我说我不回来了。你既然电话也
不打，我回来后你既然什么都不问。那你说，我能不生气吗？女人要哄的。
本想说回来就跟你和好，可是看到你那一副不在乎的样子，我就算了，反正我死我
活，对你而言也没差。所以我嘴巴硬了。
I know I had used harsh words against you. Not so hard, is not a bad word anyway. Just the tone is like, insulting? Ha!
“你吃饱了吗？”
“当然吃饱啦，不然等你来喂吗？”
And thats, the conversation that made you walked away...........to take shower instead!
Then I changed my tone, into more lady-like and sweet.
“我吃饱了，我一个人吃。” I said. Which is more insulting. And that was purposely.
That makes you stepped out of the door. Hahaha...
"Whatever." I murmured.
I'm rude. But is better than you ! Who turn your back on me, and watch me leave, JUST. LIKE.THAT.
FUCK YOU!
重播
我知道我为什么哭。我知道你不知道为什么我哭。
很久很久以前，我心情不好时，有一首歌不停的重播。那是，很久很久以前的习惯。
很久没有做的习惯。很久很久以前，都会有那么一首歌，它被我不停地重播，然后，
眼泪不受控制得流。我的眼泪很多，可以哭很久很久。
我很羡慕别人的恋爱，不是因为你不爱我，而是因为你的爱一直都很冷淡。是谁说
在一起九年后，我们就要淡淡地过日子？我很羡慕别人被男孩子疼的幸福，不是因
为你不疼我，是因为你的疼爱，真的没有 温暖度，感觉就好像，我跟家人在一起，
可是是各过各日子的那种。冷了，没有人为你盖被，因为大家都是各忙各的，到最
后，还是自己来，结果很久很久以后，习惯了自己来。很可悲不是吗？因为我的男
朋友，不像别人那样，会感觉天气冷的时候，问一问，你冷吗？或是什么都不问，
直接给自己一个稍微的小拥抱。我男朋友吗？他不会这样。
我不出门了。说好要一起看的戏，我不要去看了。因为他可以在跟我约会的时候，
说途中要去载朋友。那个该死的朋友，自己不会招计程车回吗？说没有人可以载，
就时不时来麻烦人家的男朋友。如果是平时我就不会生气。可是今天说好的要出去
去走走的，他却无所谓似的说要去载朋友。谁喜欢啊？连平时出门都不牵我的那个
笨行为我都原谅了，现在还要这样做白痴情人。我不难过是假的，不羡慕别人是假
的。别人都一起出门旅行了，我们呢？
到头来，我还是一个人。很可怜吧？
很久很久以前，我心情不好时，有一首歌不停的重播。那是，很久很久以前的习惯。
很久没有做的习惯。很久很久以前，都会有那么一首歌，它被我不停地重播，然后，
眼泪不受控制得流。我的眼泪很多，可以哭很久很久。
我很羡慕别人的恋爱，不是因为你不爱我，而是因为你的爱一直都很冷淡。是谁说
在一起九年后，我们就要淡淡地过日子？我很羡慕别人被男孩子疼的幸福，不是因
为你不疼我，是因为你的疼爱，真的没有 温暖度，感觉就好像，我跟家人在一起，
可是是各过各日子的那种。冷了，没有人为你盖被，因为大家都是各忙各的，到最
后，还是自己来，结果很久很久以后，习惯了自己来。很可悲不是吗？因为我的男
朋友，不像别人那样，会感觉天气冷的时候，问一问，你冷吗？或是什么都不问，
直接给自己一个稍微的小拥抱。我男朋友吗？他不会这样。
我不出门了。说好要一起看的戏，我不要去看了。因为他可以在跟我约会的时候，
说途中要去载朋友。那个该死的朋友，自己不会招计程车回吗？说没有人可以载，
就时不时来麻烦人家的男朋友。如果是平时我就不会生气。可是今天说好的要出去
去走走的，他却无所谓似的说要去载朋友。谁喜欢啊？连平时出门都不牵我的那个
笨行为我都原谅了，现在还要这样做白痴情人。我不难过是假的，不羡慕别人是假
的。别人都一起出门旅行了，我们呢？
到头来，我还是一个人。很可怜吧？
He Bought Feminine Pads for the FIrst Time
So I thought he would refuse. When I told him to help, when I just realized that I've run out of it.
I thought he would refuse. As, usually, in this kind of situation, man would refuse with reasons:
a.) "That was a girl stuff" they would say.
b.) They are shy, when thinking that what will other people say, when they see it.
c.) They are too "MAN", and too rough to do something "feminine".
But, hey, he said nothing but listen to what I said and followed exactly what I taught him to do.
"Buy me a feminine pads", I said. He's listening and staring at me, with no comment. And before he could respond (he didn't actually want to say anything), I asked "Do you know which brand am I using?" He smiled and said,"I don't know". I smiled back, "INTIMATE, is pink in color," I said.
"And then?" he asked.
"You buy the big one, with 20 pieces in it, you look for no wing type." I said.
"Okay." he said. And before he stepped out of the car, "and buy me some gastric medicine as well, I guess I'd gastric now, that's why it is so pain," I called out. "The long one." I said again.
He said okay and left. I was smiling. Still smiling. As I never thought that he would buy it for me. He used to refuse. That is why this is the first time, and because it was the first time, I thought I should wrote it down to remember it. Is the first time, and we always wanted to celebrate the first time, isn't it?
Yes, I had serious period pain, and while we're eating, gastric struck, so it was double pain, and I can't stand and walk like a normal people anymore. AND...my feminine pads is, finish, unfortunately, you can tell. I should have bought it myself, I wanted to bought it myself, without trouble him, or embarrassed him, but I barely walk, I can't walk, that's the problem.
After a few minutes, a couple came out form the Guardian pharmacy, and they hold items with hand..."Oh, is Saturday...no plastic bag day." I whispered, and waiting, to see how will his reaction be, carry those things out from a pharmacy, without a bag. hehehe...
He came out a minute after that, without bring along anything. Hmm...could not find the things I want? He open the door and said "there is no brand that you'd requested."...hahaha...okay, so I was mistaken. I told him another brand, and reminded him that I need "no wing" type. He smiled and left.
Minutes past, he appeared, walking with the brand new pads and medicine. And I was happy.
Good man, isn't it?
I thought he would refuse. As, usually, in this kind of situation, man would refuse with reasons:
a.) "That was a girl stuff" they would say.
b.) They are shy, when thinking that what will other people say, when they see it.
c.) They are too "MAN", and too rough to do something "feminine".
But, hey, he said nothing but listen to what I said and followed exactly what I taught him to do.
"Buy me a feminine pads", I said. He's listening and staring at me, with no comment. And before he could respond (he didn't actually want to say anything), I asked "Do you know which brand am I using?" He smiled and said,"I don't know". I smiled back, "INTIMATE, is pink in color," I said.
"And then?" he asked.
"You buy the big one, with 20 pieces in it, you look for no wing type." I said.
"Okay." he said. And before he stepped out of the car, "and buy me some gastric medicine as well, I guess I'd gastric now, that's why it is so pain," I called out. "The long one." I said again.
He said okay and left. I was smiling. Still smiling. As I never thought that he would buy it for me. He used to refuse. That is why this is the first time, and because it was the first time, I thought I should wrote it down to remember it. Is the first time, and we always wanted to celebrate the first time, isn't it?
Yes, I had serious period pain, and while we're eating, gastric struck, so it was double pain, and I can't stand and walk like a normal people anymore. AND...my feminine pads is, finish, unfortunately, you can tell. I should have bought it myself, I wanted to bought it myself, without trouble him, or embarrassed him, but I barely walk, I can't walk, that's the problem.
After a few minutes, a couple came out form the Guardian pharmacy, and they hold items with hand..."Oh, is Saturday...no plastic bag day." I whispered, and waiting, to see how will his reaction be, carry those things out from a pharmacy, without a bag. hehehe...
He came out a minute after that, without bring along anything. Hmm...could not find the things I want? He open the door and said "there is no brand that you'd requested."...hahaha...okay, so I was mistaken. I told him another brand, and reminded him that I need "no wing" type. He smiled and left.
Minutes past, he appeared, walking with the brand new pads and medicine. And I was happy.
Good man, isn't it?
Monday, April 1, 2013
你那边在下雨吗？我愿意把我的晴天送给你。
请，送一个天使保护姐姐。
为什么我会很难过。因为觉得姐姐遇到这种情况，真的很让她委屈得过份。
真的很不公平，为什么总是要姐姐一个人承担，而那个臭男人既然什么事都没有的
一样度过每一天。
为什么，要姐姐自己一个人那么难受。能分担的，爸爸，我一定要帮姐姐。
请你，送一个天使守在姐姐身边。如果现在所有的天使们都不得空，请，把我的守
护天使送到姐姐那里去，让她一切顺顺利利过关。
请你，把我的身边的天使，都送去姐姐身边，保护她。
为什么我会很难过。因为觉得姐姐遇到这种情况，真的很让她委屈得过份。
真的很不公平，为什么总是要姐姐一个人承担，而那个臭男人既然什么事都没有的
一样度过每一天。
为什么，要姐姐自己一个人那么难受。能分担的，爸爸，我一定要帮姐姐。
请你，送一个天使守在姐姐身边。如果现在所有的天使们都不得空，请，把我的守
护天使送到姐姐那里去，让她一切顺顺利利过关。
请你，把我的身边的天使，都送去姐姐身边，保护她。
Saturday, March 23, 2013
I Live in March
I ignored certain people, a man, who's asking how's my life getting on, twice, lately.
I accidentally waved a "hi" to a man who I'd ignored for so long, which I regretted a minute after that.
I'd received a surprise mail in my FB inbox, from a man from Taiwan.
I'd called that somebody for help, twice, this month.
I became crazily in love with GG's latest new song, "I Got A Boy".
I had cried out loud for the second time on 23rd March, 2013.
I was stress but I ignored my assignment all the time, especially after a harsh weekend/day. (Harsh here means, lots of customers to handle, loads of goods to be processed, and staffs to .....whatever)
I'd got a new plan. Not totally my idea. But I want to make a first move to involve in this field which I never want to be in before. I want more money, I want to be rich, that is what I thought when I receive that idea, from my boyfriend.
Oh...I cut my hair again. I remembered someone said that he likes a long-hair girl than a short-hair girl. I remembered I told him I usually keep my hair long because it suits me more. I remembered he said short hair makes me look old. I remembered he praised me for the first time last year when I cut my hair short. I remembered all that memory. Yet, I cut my hair again, because I wanted to. I love it and that is non-of-your-business. When I'm confident, When I'm happy, and When I trust in myself, that's when I become prettier. So who cares about your comment anyway.
I'd been to the beach twice. Eating Sakae Sushi wiht my boyfriend for the first time. Received two new formal wears from Kak Nora for the first time. Lost my temper and scold my staff in front of the customer for the first time. Received a new bag from my boyfriend for the first time.
And, most of all.
We planned to buy a house together, for the first time =)
I accidentally waved a "hi" to a man who I'd ignored for so long, which I regretted a minute after that.
I'd received a surprise mail in my FB inbox, from a man from Taiwan.
I'd called that somebody for help, twice, this month.
I became crazily in love with GG's latest new song, "I Got A Boy".
I had cried out loud for the second time on 23rd March, 2013.
I was stress but I ignored my assignment all the time, especially after a harsh weekend/day. (Harsh here means, lots of customers to handle, loads of goods to be processed, and staffs to .....whatever)
I'd got a new plan. Not totally my idea. But I want to make a first move to involve in this field which I never want to be in before. I want more money, I want to be rich, that is what I thought when I receive that idea, from my boyfriend.
Oh...I cut my hair again. I remembered someone said that he likes a long-hair girl than a short-hair girl. I remembered I told him I usually keep my hair long because it suits me more. I remembered he said short hair makes me look old. I remembered he praised me for the first time last year when I cut my hair short. I remembered all that memory. Yet, I cut my hair again, because I wanted to. I love it and that is non-of-your-business. When I'm confident, When I'm happy, and When I trust in myself, that's when I become prettier. So who cares about your comment anyway.
I'd been to the beach twice. Eating Sakae Sushi wiht my boyfriend for the first time. Received two new formal wears from Kak Nora for the first time. Lost my temper and scold my staff in front of the customer for the first time. Received a new bag from my boyfriend for the first time.
And, most of all.
We planned to buy a house together, for the first time =)
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
March, 12th - 2013
忍了那么久，终于还是崩溃了。
在三月十二号这一天。本来应该是个开心的一天的。结果，起床时发现今天又要跟
以往那样一样的过日子，那个重要的某某人也好像什么事都没有特别为自己准备的
时候，心情下落就算了， 带着那闷脾气，自己做什么事都不开心的时候时。。。
发现到那只黑母猫的秘密。原来自己一直听到的小猫声，不是外面的猫咪，而是这
母猫偷偷在楼下的那空房里，生了两只小猫咪。看到猫咪的时候，心痛了起来，因
为自己不能收养它们，打从一开始，就要把那母猫丢弃的，迟迟不丢是自己的错。
现在变成了要三只猫也要一起丢，心里忍不了痛的，心情又是更加的低落了。
其中一只猫咪不知躲到哪里去，最后，只好把母猫跟另一只猫咪先丢弃。它还很小，
虽然会走路了，但要把它跟它妈妈一起丢在外面，没有屋檐下的情况生活，想着想
着，罪恶感更是增加了。真的很难受又很痛苦。把它们都放下以后，赶快把车子都
驾走了以后，我哭了。哭得很厉害那种。心里真的很疼。它还那么小，别说外面的
世界了，在这个家里时，它都只住在那空房里没出来过，今天我把房门打开时，它
可是第一次出到外面的世界的。好奇的同时它也觉得陌生害怕，也不敢接近我，更
何况是外面那我丢弃它的公园了。请原谅我的坏心肠，请原谅我没有能力照顾，请
原谅我的自私。就这样，我今天做了两件很过份的事。一是，把猫咪跟它妈妈还有
兄弟拆散；二时，把猫咪跟它妈妈一起丢弃了。没被丢弃的猫咪一定很寂寞很难过，
可是莫名的时，它不见了，在我们忙着抓它妈妈跟另外一只猫咪时，它不见了。都
是我的错。它那么小怎样照顾自己？真的，对不起。
后来，我接完公司打来的电话后，崩溃了。彻底的崩溃了。是压力太大了。最近忙
着顾公司的事，都没好好花时间去学习。想到自己还有那么多事情没做完，时间却
逼得很紧，真的很突然的，我头痛得自己受不了。心里又恨又气的。终于，大声的
喊了出来，哭了好久好久，也哭得好大声。这是，第一次的，崩溃了。自己后来平
静后，也觉得有点吓倒，自己既然会在这种情况下，倒下来。
因为今天是那重要的日子吧？可是却没收到什么礼物或惊喜，所以本身得私人问题
也同时的给自己压力。今天是三月十二号啊，不重要吗？那个人总是无所谓的让人
难过失望。小小的幸福也没办法给，所以很难过。想到公司的事还有学校的事时，
终于，受不了的，第一次像疯子那样的，又哭又闹的，崩溃了。
给我力量吧。那个时候，自己动了那本书，很久没有去碰，去翻，更别说是去读的
书。把它拿出来时，看到了：
“I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength”。
要继续走下去啊，不管有多难。有人会守护你的，忘了吗？
累了，就是要哭一哭。累了，去海边散步吧，晒一晒太阳。今天这样做，是对的。
喂，Happy 9th Anniversary， Darling。
在三月十二号这一天。本来应该是个开心的一天的。结果，起床时发现今天又要跟
以往那样一样的过日子，那个重要的某某人也好像什么事都没有特别为自己准备的
时候，心情下落就算了， 带着那闷脾气，自己做什么事都不开心的时候时。。。
发现到那只黑母猫的秘密。原来自己一直听到的小猫声，不是外面的猫咪，而是这
母猫偷偷在楼下的那空房里，生了两只小猫咪。看到猫咪的时候，心痛了起来，因
为自己不能收养它们，打从一开始，就要把那母猫丢弃的，迟迟不丢是自己的错。
现在变成了要三只猫也要一起丢，心里忍不了痛的，心情又是更加的低落了。
其中一只猫咪不知躲到哪里去，最后，只好把母猫跟另一只猫咪先丢弃。它还很小，
虽然会走路了，但要把它跟它妈妈一起丢在外面，没有屋檐下的情况生活，想着想
着，罪恶感更是增加了。真的很难受又很痛苦。把它们都放下以后，赶快把车子都
驾走了以后，我哭了。哭得很厉害那种。心里真的很疼。它还那么小，别说外面的
世界了，在这个家里时，它都只住在那空房里没出来过，今天我把房门打开时，它
可是第一次出到外面的世界的。好奇的同时它也觉得陌生害怕，也不敢接近我，更
何况是外面那我丢弃它的公园了。请原谅我的坏心肠，请原谅我没有能力照顾，请
原谅我的自私。就这样，我今天做了两件很过份的事。一是，把猫咪跟它妈妈还有
兄弟拆散；二时，把猫咪跟它妈妈一起丢弃了。没被丢弃的猫咪一定很寂寞很难过，
可是莫名的时，它不见了，在我们忙着抓它妈妈跟另外一只猫咪时，它不见了。都
是我的错。它那么小怎样照顾自己？真的，对不起。
后来，我接完公司打来的电话后，崩溃了。彻底的崩溃了。是压力太大了。最近忙
着顾公司的事，都没好好花时间去学习。想到自己还有那么多事情没做完，时间却
逼得很紧，真的很突然的，我头痛得自己受不了。心里又恨又气的。终于，大声的
喊了出来，哭了好久好久，也哭得好大声。这是，第一次的，崩溃了。自己后来平
静后，也觉得有点吓倒，自己既然会在这种情况下，倒下来。
因为今天是那重要的日子吧？可是却没收到什么礼物或惊喜，所以本身得私人问题
也同时的给自己压力。今天是三月十二号啊，不重要吗？那个人总是无所谓的让人
难过失望。小小的幸福也没办法给，所以很难过。想到公司的事还有学校的事时，
终于，受不了的，第一次像疯子那样的，又哭又闹的，崩溃了。
给我力量吧。那个时候，自己动了那本书，很久没有去碰，去翻，更别说是去读的
书。把它拿出来时，看到了：
“I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength”。
要继续走下去啊，不管有多难。有人会守护你的，忘了吗？
累了，就是要哭一哭。累了，去海边散步吧，晒一晒太阳。今天这样做，是对的。
喂，Happy 9th Anniversary， Darling。
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