I can live Without You

I felt like being cheated. But at the same time, I was not mad at all. Or upset. Or disappointed. I dont, really.

Lack of communication again. Whats the problem? This, Is a problem. Wherever I go, it seems like everything is all about LACK of COMMUNICATIONs. Whether in the office, between me and senior colleague. In home, with mum( I dont want her to worry, in fact). In school/college/ or....wherever I go. I thought I chose to be silent was good; you know, sometimes you could accidentally hurt other with your words. So, most of the time, I dont ask, but, I listen.

Yet. Now, suddenly, I felt that, this, communication is really important. When somebody ask you where is this somebody been to, and you dont know how to answer. Which, in fact, this somebody suppose to be that "important" person in your life. Like your boyfriend/bestie/hubby/honey or whatever. And, funny thing is, I dont know. Have no idea at all. Where is he now. Why is he there. What is he doing there. I have no idea and F***ing shit how come I am the one that have no idea at ALL! In the end, I'm the one that have to ask them back, where is he now? How ridiculous. And Idiot!

Another funny thing is, I don't mind. Don't seems to worry around. Why is he acting like this. I suddenly feel I don't want to know and I don't have to. Why should I? If he needed me to know, for sure he will tell. Otherwise, what for I'm waiting for the answer? All these while, I thought I'm the one that keeping lots of secrets. But now, seems like I'm the one that keep digging YOUR secret, Mr. Teo!

I had once mad with this situation before. So I tell myself, if you don't like to talk, okay, thats fine, then I will do my own thing without you. And Holy Christ, I was surprised as I really could live my life without you. Who the hell are you thinking you are in my life? Some sort of prince or king? Oh, excuse me! Go F*** yourself. I am the Queen and Princess In MY Life, okay?

Meeting? Visit the brother? Is all lie. Great. Maybe is time to admit to each. That we're no longer need each other. I've live in my own way long enough. I know how to take care of myself. My job. My friend. My family. Get use to it, then you will always know HOW to handle almost, everything.

Ok, thank god again. Coz I had been with him for seven years. Who can stand my temper for this long? Mr. Teo. Who was there when I faced with terrible family crisis? Mr. Teo. Who took care of me when I was sick and only worked for half day? Mr. Teo. Yup, almost everything. Whatever I do, I do it with you. I was, with you, all these time. We're together. But after for so many years, I figured out something. You dont share with me, like I always do share, almost everything with you.

After so many years. Thing begin to change. So slightly, until I dont even realize. If I dont pay attetion on it. You dont share. Why? You dont like to talk. Why?

I wonder. Why?

Are we really, do not need each other? Anymore?